Feeling sorry for myself
For absolutely no reason , all of a sudden, yet again, I've taken a wrong turn and landed on self-pity avenue. It happens occasionally, and in these moments of self-loathing I turn to you once again. Maybe Daniel's right and I need a little Paccil CR. Everybody needs it sometime, right? We're really no more fragile than anyone else, but sometimes it seems like our problems are more overwhelming, more important, solely because they are more personal. No, I'm not using the royal we, I'm including all of you in my misery. Not that you're miserable at this moment, but because I know you feel this way too, which simultaneously comforts me and saddens me. I want you to be happy. I evidently want me to be happy as well, because after all I am selfish beast no matter how much I'd like to pretend other wise.
I just feel really inadequate and ugly. Emotionally. Physically. Everything just seems subpar. Work. Relationships or the lack there of. I'm just slowly dripping away. I think the city is wearing away my sole, my integrity, my innocence. Five years is a long time, and yet only the blink of an eye.
Tomorrow will be better. And if not tomorrow, the next day. I thought exercise was supposed to boost your endorphins and make you feel happy. Read fast because tomorrow I won't want the world to know how self-indulgent I am. If I even post this. I think this is really more for me. I am worried about you but don't know how to tell you, help you, hold you.
Really, I just miss you.
I just feel really inadequate and ugly. Emotionally. Physically. Everything just seems subpar. Work. Relationships or the lack there of. I'm just slowly dripping away. I think the city is wearing away my sole, my integrity, my innocence. Five years is a long time, and yet only the blink of an eye.
Tomorrow will be better. And if not tomorrow, the next day. I thought exercise was supposed to boost your endorphins and make you feel happy. Read fast because tomorrow I won't want the world to know how self-indulgent I am. If I even post this. I think this is really more for me. I am worried about you but don't know how to tell you, help you, hold you.
Really, I just miss you.