Not what I wanted to come back to
Damn it, turns out I didn't get the job at my library, not enough programming experience and didn't even get to an interview at the other library before they hired someone else. I hate this, because I know that's my weak spot, I'm open about it in interviews, but they know how fast I learn and connect with other people. They're been working with me for around two years. I know everyone wants to hire someone who knows everything but as a librarian I hate this bit since I'm never going to learn how to do programming if I'm never hired to do it. And I know I'd be good at it too. At the wedding, I was talking with some fellow librarians about how weird this profession can be about what you've done and how that fits into what you should do. My career hasn't fit any particular idea of what I think people expect so even though I have lots of experience, I don't as easily fit into this to that.
Also for all that they say oh you're so impressive but we're not hiring you, I just hate it. It makes me not want to stay because it feels like, I'm good enough for some things but not others. I know it probably was a case of someone else came in and was great and I wasn't promised anything, I know that. Its just this was the fourth job I've applied for there and not got it combined with I was going to do some extra hours as there are holes in the schedule. And they went oh, right, you actually can't do that as we can't risk you going over the too many hours, we have to give you benefits threshold. So I'm just feeling stuck and taken for granted.
The wedding this weekend was wonderful, so many great people and conversations in lovely places. I was a little shy and anxious in the run up thinking oh I'm not enough and getting in my head, but got there and it was amazing. So many moments of oh I know you and just connecting. I was able to spend some time with my brother which was also fun and my recovery from tooth stuff is going really well.
I'm going to go take a walk, do some shopping, cook something delicious for dinner and keep looking for other opportunities.
Also for all that they say oh you're so impressive but we're not hiring you, I just hate it. It makes me not want to stay because it feels like, I'm good enough for some things but not others. I know it probably was a case of someone else came in and was great and I wasn't promised anything, I know that. Its just this was the fourth job I've applied for there and not got it combined with I was going to do some extra hours as there are holes in the schedule. And they went oh, right, you actually can't do that as we can't risk you going over the too many hours, we have to give you benefits threshold. So I'm just feeling stuck and taken for granted.
The wedding this weekend was wonderful, so many great people and conversations in lovely places. I was a little shy and anxious in the run up thinking oh I'm not enough and getting in my head, but got there and it was amazing. So many moments of oh I know you and just connecting. I was able to spend some time with my brother which was also fun and my recovery from tooth stuff is going really well.
I'm going to go take a walk, do some shopping, cook something delicious for dinner and keep looking for other opportunities.