Grief like a wave

Feb 02, 2020 22:15

My new job is going well, I'm learning new skills, everyone's nice and I don't really feel the long commute until the end of the week. Also it keeps me nice and busy, not a lot of downtime since I'm balancing reference desk and ILL. The ILL is something I'm going to keep getting faster at but for now, it takes time.

But its also coming up on the anniversary of my sister's death and at times it feels closer than others. I'm so glad to have work to keep me busy but when the weather gets grey and I have too much time in my own head, it hurts. I think of her at unexpected moments and miss being able to text her, talk about work and books and movies.

I'm trying to see if I can get the amaryllis from last year to bloom again after living in my closet for the year. And I have plans to connect with a friend this week and I'm going to reach out to my relative in the area too and other friends. Since this coming week and weekend are going to be hard, she died on the 6th.

Words keep going around in my head and I want to try and do more writing. Long commutes are good that way, there's time to think.

This entry is also posted at https://ceitfianna.dreamwidth.org/486316.html. Please comment wherever you'd like.

fuck cancer, writing, library life, death, jobs, family

Previous post Next post
Up