Almost There
This is the second night in a row that I've had trouble sleeping. I just can't seem to stop my thoughts and my back hurts so its hard to get comfortable. Its probably helpful that I know why I'm so stressed and that part of that will be over soon, hopefully, but at the moment it doesn't feel it.
Today I got an email saying that a credit that had shown up before wasn't and now I'm worrying about graduation again. I was really wanting to spend this week working on writing my grant and enjoying the process of fleshing out this amazing program I have in my head and putting it into the grant structure.
Instead last night, I stayed up reading far too late, a fantastic book that ashen_key recommended called Green Monkey Dreams by Isobelle Carmody, but its not a good book before bed. It pulled me in and suddenly it was light out, so I slept until late into the afternoon.
Then livejournal was still down so I did some more writing as my various fics are coming together, which is nice. The high point of my day was the dinner I went to where I talked about the LIS program with alums and profs and realized how much I do know about being a librarian. It made me quite hopeful that I can get the kind of job I want. I wish I'd been able to stay until the end but work called.
Work then was incredibly quiet and I had the fun of walking home in a exciting and at moments terrifying thunderstorm. By the time I got home, my clothes were completely drenched and they're now drying.
My plan was to go to bed early and I did that but I just spent the last hour or so tossing and turning as I couldn't get comfortable. I tried counting backwards but it didn't work and my body is now reminding me that I haven't actually eaten that well today. I had a good proper dinner but that was it. Tomorrow is mine and I sent an email about graduation, I think things should be okay and hopefully its just the computer system being a pain, but its another worry I didn't need.
I'd just like to feel done. I've yet to get that. I know I've accomplished a lot of things and I'm close but all the bureaucracy keeps making me worry again. And I can't even focus my worry on that because my grant is due on Monday. When I next have the money, I'm getting a proper massage because I can feel how tense I am and it hurts.
I'd rather not give up fully on sleeping tonight, but I feel far too awake to lie in bed and toss and turn again.
Today I got an email saying that a credit that had shown up before wasn't and now I'm worrying about graduation again. I was really wanting to spend this week working on writing my grant and enjoying the process of fleshing out this amazing program I have in my head and putting it into the grant structure.
Instead last night, I stayed up reading far too late, a fantastic book that ashen_key recommended called Green Monkey Dreams by Isobelle Carmody, but its not a good book before bed. It pulled me in and suddenly it was light out, so I slept until late into the afternoon.
Then livejournal was still down so I did some more writing as my various fics are coming together, which is nice. The high point of my day was the dinner I went to where I talked about the LIS program with alums and profs and realized how much I do know about being a librarian. It made me quite hopeful that I can get the kind of job I want. I wish I'd been able to stay until the end but work called.
Work then was incredibly quiet and I had the fun of walking home in a exciting and at moments terrifying thunderstorm. By the time I got home, my clothes were completely drenched and they're now drying.
My plan was to go to bed early and I did that but I just spent the last hour or so tossing and turning as I couldn't get comfortable. I tried counting backwards but it didn't work and my body is now reminding me that I haven't actually eaten that well today. I had a good proper dinner but that was it. Tomorrow is mine and I sent an email about graduation, I think things should be okay and hopefully its just the computer system being a pain, but its another worry I didn't need.
I'd just like to feel done. I've yet to get that. I know I've accomplished a lot of things and I'm close but all the bureaucracy keeps making me worry again. And I can't even focus my worry on that because my grant is due on Monday. When I next have the money, I'm getting a proper massage because I can feel how tense I am and it hurts.
I'd rather not give up fully on sleeping tonight, but I feel far too awake to lie in bed and toss and turn again.