Okay, so....

[ceinwen]

It's been a loooong time since my last update. I just haven't had the interest in posting anything. Not sure what that means. I do read, check every morning for good things, occasionally post a response. I seem to be mostly indifferent towards LJ now, a passive observer, rather than someone who actively participates. Fighting a mild depression, which makes me want to retreat and turn into hermit girl; it's a recurring theme for me, but now that I am aware, I can try to stay ahead of it. I realize this is a disjointed update, but that's what my brain is capable of producing at the moment. I guess I haven't had to sum up my experiences for a while, and that function has gotten a wee bit rusty. The universe seems to be jump-starting the way I think again, which usually precedes a major shift in how I view things/myself/theworld. Not a bad thing, ever--I welcome the lessons, always--but when it gets overwhelming I tend to hunker down and wait for the storm to pass, which I guess is what I've been doing lately. I feel like someone's treated my brain like a giant snow-globe, and shook it so all the flakes are flying around inside my head, and I'm trying not to chase them and make things worse, but to simply sit (not hide) and let them settle where they will, and observe the process.

Not totally done yet, but I can see the other side now, so that's progress! Working on gratitude and self-acceptance at the moment, and on seeking joy in everyday things. It's amazing how much bliss I get from a simple bath, and how long afterwards the glow lasts. I need to have more of that type of experience. Reminded of a saying that's becoming my motto for right now: happiness isn't what you feel, it's what you do. Note to self: get off your ass and go do something blissful!