Ever have a feelin?
Have you ever had the feeling that things were on pause because someone or someone's aren't or weren't listening? Or even refused to listen?
Ever had a feeling that because people refuse to move on and accept that things need to change that they are going to be stuck that way? That because they have made mistakes they have to take it out on the rest of the world? That they can't give what little comfort and joy other people may need from them because they decided that they have to be alone in life?
Well perhaps it is best. Perhaps it is needed. Perhaps it is something I need to learn. My capacity for love for one person is there. Will he accept it? No. He wants someone else, and therefor pushes everyone else away. That is ok, I am used to that. I have waited for a long time, I can still wait. The dreams and the flashes of insight have told me to wait. To hold back, to let him do what he thinks he needs to do. So while I wait on him to gain his perspective, I get to have the knives of pain and loss driven into me every time he thinks of her. And that is ok. An empath expects pain in life. Pain from those he loves, pain from those he hates, and pain from those he doesn't even know.
Ever had a feeling that someone was lying to your face about understanding a situation, and wanting to help? The she may have an insight into what is going on and what someone else has been telling everyone? That she knows that you are the bane of all life? That you are evil incarnate? That you are a rapist and a pedophile, and thief? That she is attempting to make your life a living hell just because someone else said or did something? Well, since this person is in my past, I am hoping she has gotten the help she needs and is going through therapy for her nightmares of Life.
Ever had a feeling that the only reason that the person you were with broke up with you was because everyone else was talking shit to him or her behind your back? That you were the one cheating, you were the one that was lying, and that you were the one spreading rumors of things? Even though it was neither of you? That it was outside sources that were lying, spreading rumors, say things to stir up crap in both your lives? That when confronted by it you felt you were being attacked and that you were in the wrong? That when someone else was brought in things were said, and that those things were not necessarily taken in context, and someo f what was siad on both sides were mis-heard, or mis-represented? Or that you said something the wrong way because your heart was bleeding out?
Ever have a feeling of being betrayed by being lied to over and over again? Or being lied to about little shit? Ever had the feeling that you were bleeding out inside and that you were trying to repair what damages there were with people in your life, even though the one, or ones, you were trying to repair the major damage with are as stubborn as you, or worse? When that person makes up his or her mind there is no turning back. And all you can do is watch the person walk out of your life, destroying you and your heart. Or even worse, walking out and saying that you are dead to him or her, and that you are never to be trusted again?
Ever have a feeling of such love for one person that no matter what was going on, you were aware of his pain? What he was going through? Ever have a feeling that you were being destroyed, and any prospects for anything more than mere friends were being destroyed, by his love of someone who can't deal with him? Or is so angry with him that their love is shattered, and at such a stage that the very thought of being with that person make them ice cold. That you wish you could take him in your arms and offer him everything you are, and have, but he doesn't want you, but wants someone else. That your love matters only so much that you are a friend, or worse only an acquaintance. That you would give your soul for just a touch, or for even an ounce of the love he has for someone else? That you would gladly give up happiness and wealth and power and friends for this person, if he had asked. Or that you would walk away from everything that mattered to make him happy.
Ever have a feeling that you are drowning in the feelings that others have with no way out of the quagmire of emotions? That you must keep going on because of the promises you made. Even though all others have broken promises to you over and over again? Or that the promises to you are no longer of matter because of the emotional hurricane others are in?
Have you ever had a feeling that you no longer mattered? That you were a tool? That all you are is a way and a means for someone to have what they want? Be it god, mortal, or animal? Ever had a feeling that you should just give up and be used by other people so that they can have what they want at your emotional and physical expense?
No? I didn't think so...
Ever had a feeling that because people refuse to move on and accept that things need to change that they are going to be stuck that way? That because they have made mistakes they have to take it out on the rest of the world? That they can't give what little comfort and joy other people may need from them because they decided that they have to be alone in life?
Well perhaps it is best. Perhaps it is needed. Perhaps it is something I need to learn. My capacity for love for one person is there. Will he accept it? No. He wants someone else, and therefor pushes everyone else away. That is ok, I am used to that. I have waited for a long time, I can still wait. The dreams and the flashes of insight have told me to wait. To hold back, to let him do what he thinks he needs to do. So while I wait on him to gain his perspective, I get to have the knives of pain and loss driven into me every time he thinks of her. And that is ok. An empath expects pain in life. Pain from those he loves, pain from those he hates, and pain from those he doesn't even know.
Ever had a feeling that someone was lying to your face about understanding a situation, and wanting to help? The she may have an insight into what is going on and what someone else has been telling everyone? That she knows that you are the bane of all life? That you are evil incarnate? That you are a rapist and a pedophile, and thief? That she is attempting to make your life a living hell just because someone else said or did something? Well, since this person is in my past, I am hoping she has gotten the help she needs and is going through therapy for her nightmares of Life.
Ever had a feeling that the only reason that the person you were with broke up with you was because everyone else was talking shit to him or her behind your back? That you were the one cheating, you were the one that was lying, and that you were the one spreading rumors of things? Even though it was neither of you? That it was outside sources that were lying, spreading rumors, say things to stir up crap in both your lives? That when confronted by it you felt you were being attacked and that you were in the wrong? That when someone else was brought in things were said, and that those things were not necessarily taken in context, and someo f what was siad on both sides were mis-heard, or mis-represented? Or that you said something the wrong way because your heart was bleeding out?
Ever have a feeling of being betrayed by being lied to over and over again? Or being lied to about little shit? Ever had the feeling that you were bleeding out inside and that you were trying to repair what damages there were with people in your life, even though the one, or ones, you were trying to repair the major damage with are as stubborn as you, or worse? When that person makes up his or her mind there is no turning back. And all you can do is watch the person walk out of your life, destroying you and your heart. Or even worse, walking out and saying that you are dead to him or her, and that you are never to be trusted again?
Ever have a feeling of such love for one person that no matter what was going on, you were aware of his pain? What he was going through? Ever have a feeling that you were being destroyed, and any prospects for anything more than mere friends were being destroyed, by his love of someone who can't deal with him? Or is so angry with him that their love is shattered, and at such a stage that the very thought of being with that person make them ice cold. That you wish you could take him in your arms and offer him everything you are, and have, but he doesn't want you, but wants someone else. That your love matters only so much that you are a friend, or worse only an acquaintance. That you would give your soul for just a touch, or for even an ounce of the love he has for someone else? That you would gladly give up happiness and wealth and power and friends for this person, if he had asked. Or that you would walk away from everything that mattered to make him happy.
Ever have a feeling that you are drowning in the feelings that others have with no way out of the quagmire of emotions? That you must keep going on because of the promises you made. Even though all others have broken promises to you over and over again? Or that the promises to you are no longer of matter because of the emotional hurricane others are in?
Have you ever had a feeling that you no longer mattered? That you were a tool? That all you are is a way and a means for someone to have what they want? Be it god, mortal, or animal? Ever had a feeling that you should just give up and be used by other people so that they can have what they want at your emotional and physical expense?
No? I didn't think so...