[fic] - Identity crisis - 1/? - Torchwood
It's been a while since I had both the inclination and the inspiration to write anything. So when this idea struck me, I had to get it down in a hurry.
Set post Journey's End, a Doctor Who crossover fic. Spoilers for Torchwood and Doctor Who seasons 2 - 4.
Title: Identity Crisis
Chapter 1/? - Memories
Author: Ceindreadh
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Doctor, Donna
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: ~1,500
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Set post Journey's End. Nothing is simple where Torchwood and the Doctor are involved.
Genre: slightly cracky, somewhat AU because I hated what happened to Donna in Journey's End.
Crossover with Doctor Who
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Torchwood characters, I'm only borrowing them, and I promise to return them in minty fresh condition when I'm finished.
Notes: First time writing The Doctor and Donna in a fic, hopefully I've got them right.
-----------------------
Ianto moaned softly as he struggled back to consciousness. He could hear voices around him, from their tone, clearly unaware that he was listening.
"This is all your fault," a woman's voice hissed angrily. "A simple case of appendicitis you said. Something that even we twenty-first century primitives could have handled. We could have shipped him off to Cardiff General, let the doc's there whip it out. A few days in hospital, spot of bed rest, he's back on his feet making coffee. But oh no, Mr big shot know it all doctor just had to show off and drag him halfway across the bleeding Universe to a place run by ruddy cats! And now look what they've gone and done."
"Donna. Donna!" came a man's voice, clearly trying to exert its authority. But 'Donna' was having none of it. "Don't you 'Donna Donna' me, sunshine! If you'd listened to me, that kid would be sitting up sipping tea right now."
Ianto's eyes were still closed as he tried to match the familiar voices to faces in his memory. Doctor, Donna, DoctorDonna, The Doctor, oh...
- - - - - - - -
It had been a few days earlier, the Rift had been fairly inactive, the Weevils practically in hibernation. Cardiff had been unbothered by aliens for three days, almost a new record. Torchwood had been so idle that Ianto had managed to spring clean Jack's office thoroughly. He had been about to turn his attentions to giving the Captain a thorough going over - knowing that Gwen was out shopping and unlikely to disturb them - when the calm had been shattered by the appearance of a large blue box on the plaza above them. "Fuck," thought Ianto calmly. "Should have known the quiet spell couldn't last."
He had been pleasantly surprised, as had Jack, to find out that the Doctor had not dropped in to talk of rampaging alien hordes and some sort of mega crisis that demanded Jack's immediate presence half way across the galaxy.
But no, while the Doctor had had an ulterior motive in popping in to Torchwood Three, it was a somewhat more altruistic one than Ianto had expected.
"Gentlemen," the Doctor had said after Jack and Ianto had greeted him. "I'd like you to meet Donna Noble."
Ianto had seen the flash of puzzlement on Jack's face as the Doctor explained the situation. He wasn't quite sure he understood it completely, but it appeared that during the most recent 'oh God we're all going to die' crisis, the Doctor and Donna had had a three-way with the hand that had once resided at Torchwood Three. The progeny of that encounter had been a human who looked just like the Doctor - and who had been promptly packed off to a parallel universe - and oh yes, Donna had ended up like Holly from Red Dwarf with a vastly improved I.Q. and a severely truncated life span.
"Or at least she would have burned up," the Doctor had said. "There I was, all set to wipe her mind of everything to do with Time Lords and me and saving the world."
"Lucky for him though," Donna had added, "He had me, the 'DoctorDonna' around to figure out an alternative way to save my mind!" In an aside to Ianto, she had commented, "Course I'm pretty sure he just said all that stuff about 'burning up' and needing to mind wipe me, just so he wouldn't have somebody smarter than him around. You should see how he gets when somebody finishes his crosswords on him!"
Ianto had nodded sagely, "I get the same reaction from Jack sometimes. It's really sweet to see him pout like that."
But although the Doctor had managed to restrict the mind wipe to merely a few days worth of memories, specifically all memories of the Dalek attack, saving the world, and the brief existence of the DoctorDonna, he hadn't been sure that it would be enough. So after a quick visit to Sylvia and Wilf, he'd taken Donna to Cardiff.
Ianto had been showing Donna around the Hub, almost out of earshot when he'd heard the Doctor explaining it to Jack. "I thought that if I brought her here to meet you. If that didn't trigger her memory, well nothing would and she'd be safe. And if it did cause her to burn up..."
"Torchwood would probably be the best place for her," Jack had said. "You took a hell of a risk, Doctor. Wouldn't it have been safer to keep her away? Or wipe her mind of everything to do with you?"
"It was her choice. Her risk to take. She didn't want to go back to the woman she was before she met me, and I, well I've gotten used to having her around."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Ianto remembered now. He'd been feeling a few little twinges for days now. Had thought at first it had been a pulled muscle, maybe from a Weevil hunt. A real Weevil hunt, not a euphemism for making out in the back seat of the SUV like a pair of horny teenagers. The Doctor had noticed his pain and had whipped out his sonic screwdriver to scan him - and boy, Jack had had a field day with that - and had diagnosed a grumbling appendix.
"You should get that seen to," he'd advised. "Wouldn't want it to go all splooey in the middle of hunting aliens or whatever you do in your free time."
Jack had wanted to bring Ianto to the nearest hospital straight away, but the Doctor had come up with another suggestion.
"I was going to offer you a trip in the TARDIS anyway," he had said. "And trust me, it's a wonderful place. Well, it is now, now that they've stopped using artificially grown humans as guinea pigs to cure incurable diseases and cleared up their traffic problem. And last I heard they'd got a wonderful new little shop. A few hours in their care, they'll fix you up, you won't even have a scar."
It had been impossible to say no to the Doctor when he was at his most enthusiastic. Donna had seemed a bit sceptical, and Jack...Jack had been half concerned for Ianto's well-being, and half brimming over with badly suppressed excitement at the opportunity to travel with the Doctor again, even if only for a little while.
Ianto had been ambivalent at best. A hospital was a hospital, but the prospect of minimal recovery time had tipped the balance. The promised lack of scarring had absolutely no bearing on his decision whatsoever, well, maybe only a little.
But now as he struggled on the verge of consciousness and listened to the pair arguing over him, Ianto couldn't help but wonder if he'd made yet another seriously bad decision.
---------------------
"What's happened?" Ianto asked, or rather, tried to ask. The words came out as a garbled "Wstfgl?" but it was enough to draw their attention.
"Ianto!" said the Doctor, a gleeful expression on his face. "See, there you are Donna, he's perfectly fine, nothing to worry about!"
Ianto could see the look Donna turned on the Doctor as she hissed, "Does he look perfectly find?" She turned to Ianto with a careful smile on her face. "Ianto love, how are you feeling?"
Ianto would have been feeling a lot better if Donna's smile had been less similar to Gwen's "Why yes, everything's going to hell but if I smile sweetly maybe nobody will panic" smile. Donna's smile however also had a side order of "I am going to bloody kill the person who royally cocked this up", which was somewhat reassuring, so long as Ianto wasn't the person in question.
"Tired," said Ianto. "What's going on? I...I thought this was supposed to be an easy procedure."
"Ah," said the Doctor. "Normally it is, but well, even couple of billion years and things sometimes go wrong in hospitals. There's nothing to worry about, really. They'll get it all sorted out, probably."
"Something went wrong?" Now Ianto was starting to get worried. "Did they take out something they shouldn't have?" He tried to sit up, but the room started to spin and he lay back heavily, closing his eyes.
"Well not so much take something out," said the Doctor. "More a case of putting the wrong thing in. It could be worse though, most people wouldn't have any complaints, at least most women wouldn't..."
"Doctor," interrupted Ianto, "Don't tell me they gave me breast implants?" He forced his eyes open, breathing a silent sigh of relief as he saw that his chest area was the same shape as he remembered.
"Oh no," said the Doctor, "See the thing is, and you'll laugh about it later on..."
"Oh for goodness sakes, Doctor," said Donna, rolling her eyes. "Ianto, you're pregnant."
------------------
To be continued
Ceindreadh
Set post Journey's End, a Doctor Who crossover fic. Spoilers for Torchwood and Doctor Who seasons 2 - 4.
Title: Identity Crisis
Chapter 1/? - Memories
Author: Ceindreadh
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Doctor, Donna
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: ~1,500
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Set post Journey's End. Nothing is simple where Torchwood and the Doctor are involved.
Genre: slightly cracky, somewhat AU because I hated what happened to Donna in Journey's End.
Crossover with Doctor Who
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Torchwood characters, I'm only borrowing them, and I promise to return them in minty fresh condition when I'm finished.
Notes: First time writing The Doctor and Donna in a fic, hopefully I've got them right.
-----------------------
Ianto moaned softly as he struggled back to consciousness. He could hear voices around him, from their tone, clearly unaware that he was listening.
"This is all your fault," a woman's voice hissed angrily. "A simple case of appendicitis you said. Something that even we twenty-first century primitives could have handled. We could have shipped him off to Cardiff General, let the doc's there whip it out. A few days in hospital, spot of bed rest, he's back on his feet making coffee. But oh no, Mr big shot know it all doctor just had to show off and drag him halfway across the bleeding Universe to a place run by ruddy cats! And now look what they've gone and done."
"Donna. Donna!" came a man's voice, clearly trying to exert its authority. But 'Donna' was having none of it. "Don't you 'Donna Donna' me, sunshine! If you'd listened to me, that kid would be sitting up sipping tea right now."
Ianto's eyes were still closed as he tried to match the familiar voices to faces in his memory. Doctor, Donna, DoctorDonna, The Doctor, oh...
- - - - - - - -
It had been a few days earlier, the Rift had been fairly inactive, the Weevils practically in hibernation. Cardiff had been unbothered by aliens for three days, almost a new record. Torchwood had been so idle that Ianto had managed to spring clean Jack's office thoroughly. He had been about to turn his attentions to giving the Captain a thorough going over - knowing that Gwen was out shopping and unlikely to disturb them - when the calm had been shattered by the appearance of a large blue box on the plaza above them. "Fuck," thought Ianto calmly. "Should have known the quiet spell couldn't last."
He had been pleasantly surprised, as had Jack, to find out that the Doctor had not dropped in to talk of rampaging alien hordes and some sort of mega crisis that demanded Jack's immediate presence half way across the galaxy.
But no, while the Doctor had had an ulterior motive in popping in to Torchwood Three, it was a somewhat more altruistic one than Ianto had expected.
"Gentlemen," the Doctor had said after Jack and Ianto had greeted him. "I'd like you to meet Donna Noble."
Ianto had seen the flash of puzzlement on Jack's face as the Doctor explained the situation. He wasn't quite sure he understood it completely, but it appeared that during the most recent 'oh God we're all going to die' crisis, the Doctor and Donna had had a three-way with the hand that had once resided at Torchwood Three. The progeny of that encounter had been a human who looked just like the Doctor - and who had been promptly packed off to a parallel universe - and oh yes, Donna had ended up like Holly from Red Dwarf with a vastly improved I.Q. and a severely truncated life span.
"Or at least she would have burned up," the Doctor had said. "There I was, all set to wipe her mind of everything to do with Time Lords and me and saving the world."
"Lucky for him though," Donna had added, "He had me, the 'DoctorDonna' around to figure out an alternative way to save my mind!" In an aside to Ianto, she had commented, "Course I'm pretty sure he just said all that stuff about 'burning up' and needing to mind wipe me, just so he wouldn't have somebody smarter than him around. You should see how he gets when somebody finishes his crosswords on him!"
Ianto had nodded sagely, "I get the same reaction from Jack sometimes. It's really sweet to see him pout like that."
But although the Doctor had managed to restrict the mind wipe to merely a few days worth of memories, specifically all memories of the Dalek attack, saving the world, and the brief existence of the DoctorDonna, he hadn't been sure that it would be enough. So after a quick visit to Sylvia and Wilf, he'd taken Donna to Cardiff.
Ianto had been showing Donna around the Hub, almost out of earshot when he'd heard the Doctor explaining it to Jack. "I thought that if I brought her here to meet you. If that didn't trigger her memory, well nothing would and she'd be safe. And if it did cause her to burn up..."
"Torchwood would probably be the best place for her," Jack had said. "You took a hell of a risk, Doctor. Wouldn't it have been safer to keep her away? Or wipe her mind of everything to do with you?"
"It was her choice. Her risk to take. She didn't want to go back to the woman she was before she met me, and I, well I've gotten used to having her around."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Ianto remembered now. He'd been feeling a few little twinges for days now. Had thought at first it had been a pulled muscle, maybe from a Weevil hunt. A real Weevil hunt, not a euphemism for making out in the back seat of the SUV like a pair of horny teenagers. The Doctor had noticed his pain and had whipped out his sonic screwdriver to scan him - and boy, Jack had had a field day with that - and had diagnosed a grumbling appendix.
"You should get that seen to," he'd advised. "Wouldn't want it to go all splooey in the middle of hunting aliens or whatever you do in your free time."
Jack had wanted to bring Ianto to the nearest hospital straight away, but the Doctor had come up with another suggestion.
"I was going to offer you a trip in the TARDIS anyway," he had said. "And trust me, it's a wonderful place. Well, it is now, now that they've stopped using artificially grown humans as guinea pigs to cure incurable diseases and cleared up their traffic problem. And last I heard they'd got a wonderful new little shop. A few hours in their care, they'll fix you up, you won't even have a scar."
It had been impossible to say no to the Doctor when he was at his most enthusiastic. Donna had seemed a bit sceptical, and Jack...Jack had been half concerned for Ianto's well-being, and half brimming over with badly suppressed excitement at the opportunity to travel with the Doctor again, even if only for a little while.
Ianto had been ambivalent at best. A hospital was a hospital, but the prospect of minimal recovery time had tipped the balance. The promised lack of scarring had absolutely no bearing on his decision whatsoever, well, maybe only a little.
But now as he struggled on the verge of consciousness and listened to the pair arguing over him, Ianto couldn't help but wonder if he'd made yet another seriously bad decision.
---------------------
"What's happened?" Ianto asked, or rather, tried to ask. The words came out as a garbled "Wstfgl?" but it was enough to draw their attention.
"Ianto!" said the Doctor, a gleeful expression on his face. "See, there you are Donna, he's perfectly fine, nothing to worry about!"
Ianto could see the look Donna turned on the Doctor as she hissed, "Does he look perfectly find?" She turned to Ianto with a careful smile on her face. "Ianto love, how are you feeling?"
Ianto would have been feeling a lot better if Donna's smile had been less similar to Gwen's "Why yes, everything's going to hell but if I smile sweetly maybe nobody will panic" smile. Donna's smile however also had a side order of "I am going to bloody kill the person who royally cocked this up", which was somewhat reassuring, so long as Ianto wasn't the person in question.
"Tired," said Ianto. "What's going on? I...I thought this was supposed to be an easy procedure."
"Ah," said the Doctor. "Normally it is, but well, even couple of billion years and things sometimes go wrong in hospitals. There's nothing to worry about, really. They'll get it all sorted out, probably."
"Something went wrong?" Now Ianto was starting to get worried. "Did they take out something they shouldn't have?" He tried to sit up, but the room started to spin and he lay back heavily, closing his eyes.
"Well not so much take something out," said the Doctor. "More a case of putting the wrong thing in. It could be worse though, most people wouldn't have any complaints, at least most women wouldn't..."
"Doctor," interrupted Ianto, "Don't tell me they gave me breast implants?" He forced his eyes open, breathing a silent sigh of relief as he saw that his chest area was the same shape as he remembered.
"Oh no," said the Doctor, "See the thing is, and you'll laugh about it later on..."
"Oh for goodness sakes, Doctor," said Donna, rolling her eyes. "Ianto, you're pregnant."
------------------
To be continued
Ceindreadh