"...tell them now your pleasure's set up on slow release..."
sunday i slept in like i told my mom i could on saturday when i thought it was sunday......... not sure what i did the rest of the day before i went to church to sing at the 6 o clock service. generally a pleasant service cuz there aren't many people to make noise but one other member of the choir's mom had come and brought her like three little brothers who didn't really shut up. i mean they weren't loud but they were whispering like constantly just barely enough to be audible and they were sitting just a few pews back. and the church has good acoustics and stone floors. it was hard to try and keep myself from being too annoyed. then after that i think i just chilled with eliot for a while. if i go too long without seeing him i get antsy so it's good to have little bits spread out over time than to not see each other much and then when we do it's a long time.
monday eh it already seems like soo long ago. cant recall. hmmm. tuesday.....we started the movie, tucker, in economics. the movie kinda reminds me of the aviator cuz it was written by the same person i think and took place around the same time. although it was made back in '88 i think. or somewhere thereabouts. quite good. ms. lee made us raspberry brownies again. it's been a while. test in chemistry. i think i did allright. halfway through the test i attempted to send good chemistry test vibes to jake cuz he always seems to freeze up on tests even though he knows the stuff. dunno if it worked. then we had homework due in calculus and steve hadn't been there on friday or monday but that wasn't that unusual but when he didn't turn up to turn homework in i was like hmmmmmm....... and ryan drew a picture of a monkey (nguyen, our t.a.) ripping off the head of mark bilinski (our teacher). yeah. oh yeah i think i remember. then eliot and i walked to dairy queen cuz i did'nt have a car cuz mom needed it. got a pumpkin pie blizzard. quite interesting. good but i couldn't eat too much of it. watched some star wars at his house till his mom came and took me home. weird to rely on parents again even if only for a little while.
wednesday took notes and watched more tucker in econ. had cookies ms quade brought for us. exactly enough for us all to have 3. sub in chemistry who went to the bathroom twice during the class. the first time was when i first got in there before the bell rang to be in class and she told me she was going to the bathroom almost as if asking permission. it was really odd. just the way i felt saying "ok." without even thinking about it i momentarily shifted to the role of permission-giver. strange. shortly into calc class steve showed up and i was like where have you been and he was like i'll tell you later. so yeah class class class. i've been paying enough attention i hope. then afterwards he told me he was about to drop out to play poker for a living. and snowboard on the side. it was kinda odd but interesting to hear about and to talk about like what influenced all his thoughts and decisions and such. walked most of the way toward his health class and then turned around and went back to the square. went to eliot's house and watched a little more star wars. heh taking forever on this one just like in econ with tucker.
then went to choir which was allright. wow erin's sister anna is liek the weirdest girl ever. i think she's like 12 or something. but like i dont know she's just sooo odd. she walks really funny and she speaks really forcefully and with kind of a spitting voice that's not too clear. and her eyes have this weird gleam in them all the time. yeah i'll stop ripping on erin's sister. i mean i dont hate her or anythign she's just the strangest child... then gave sara a ride home cuz her mom was sick or something. since i was already over there i went ahead and parked at mellow mushroom. gained a seat at a table next to zeke and including trevor, ben, and cameron. went to cvs to turn in my camera and get stuff like a brush. so hard to find a normal wire brush.....they wanna sell you the ionized one that spreads out the oil to give your hair more shine. i got enough shine already thankyouverymuch. then trivia which was fun and eliot came and eveything was beautiful and zeke is awesome and jake was there for the first time in ever (sometime when we were still going out i think). so that was awesome. he was gonna be on raymond's team but he joined ours cuz we're just that cool. so yeah trivia was happy.
ahh today. what a day. not enough eliot by far but it was still allright. someone took my spot yet again so i parked in the spot by the batting cage. printed in graphic arts but it was fucking up so badly and after a long long time and ink on the fingers cofo came over and we learned there was fuzz of some sort in the ink rollers which weas getting everywhere else and the ink was drying or somethign. i dunno it's complicated. eventually got some decent calendars printed and i had ink all over the finger tips of my left hand. not cuz it started there but becuause it was so thick that it got there as i was trying to wash it off. stocks in econ. and more tucker. but stil nto finished. sub in chem again this time a dude who was kinda weird but at least he didn't interfere. neither did the lady yesterday though. oh yeah yesterday we did a labish type thing and i got steel wool fibers in my eye and it sucked so i used the eyewash thingy and it helped. yay. weird cuz the sub said if it wasn't better i could go to the nurse. what would hte nurse do that an eyewash thing cant do? whatever.
back to today..... got to my car and there was a lovely note in my windshield wiper saying "dont fucking park in other people's spaces" so on the off chance they happened to look at my car in the afternoon i wrote a note in block letters on the other side that said "then TELL someone else not to park in My Spot" and let it hang out of my trunk liek a flag in the wind. got a wild blueberry toasted bagel with much cream cheese at einstein bros it was soooo good. saw my teacher mark there in line for starbucks. funny. then we had a quiz at the end of recitation. then i went back to the square and talked to will, lauren, matt, and christina for a sec (man it's soo easy now for me to tell when certain people are...ehm....altered) but i hadn't talked to kurt in a while so i went and hugged him, janet, and shawn. and then sat over with them for a long time. looking at kurt's picture of the insane mr huges conducting with a monkey beside him conducting as well and a building that just might be decatur high burning in the background.
talked more, looked at pictures, i worked on my latest sketck/piece of art. i seem to make works with the line quality of a sketch but that turn into finshed pieces with no need for further enhancement. unless i wanted to paint them or something. it is quite interesting. i am curious as to how it's gonna turn out. got a few suggestions from kurt. i think he didn't quite finish one though he told me not to make something still but i'm not sure how to make it moving..... so i did some work on that then looked at the time and jogged briskly from the square to the gym and then walked the rest of the way. there were some people at the batting cage including matt tate so i talked to him for a few minutes. then went to see eliot at smoothie king and get a butter pecan malt which tasted funny at first but i think it was cuz the powder wasn't absorbed yet cuz it tasted really good after a minute. but it was almost closing time. so when it was i left and went home for food and then a flute lesson.
left my flute at home but didn' realize till i was there. when i got there she wasn't there yet. so i laid in my car and talked to eliot for 10-15 minutes till she got there. had a lesson but we were both irritable so i turned to my old ways of being kinda interrupty. i do hold that she doesnt' always let me finish what i'm saying either but by now i'm over that. so it ended abruptly and only kind of short of what it should have been. i wasn't very calm but the interpol cd that cole just burned me helped calm me down a bit. it was good music to soothe my mood. stopped at the land trust on the way back to really gain my serenity back. climbed up into the pentagon platform in the pentagon pavilion and proceeded to meditate for a while. i managed to eventually find a good position which minimized the shivering but also allowed me to relax. very helpful. it's kinda hard though cuz i can control one layer of my thoughts and focus and lose myself but there's that second layer which is independent and soo hard to control that is always thinking of something or trying to add onto what the other layer is thinking. like i'm concentrating on my breathing with the surface layer but then the slightly unconscious layer tries to superimpose somethign on it like counting or the word "breathe" or sometimes it just wanders off........gotta work on that. overall a very good experience. it's like my special place to go and compose myelf. dont go there often. but it kind of is my one special place that i can really feel solitude. or something.
monday eh it already seems like soo long ago. cant recall. hmmm. tuesday.....we started the movie, tucker, in economics. the movie kinda reminds me of the aviator cuz it was written by the same person i think and took place around the same time. although it was made back in '88 i think. or somewhere thereabouts. quite good. ms. lee made us raspberry brownies again. it's been a while. test in chemistry. i think i did allright. halfway through the test i attempted to send good chemistry test vibes to jake cuz he always seems to freeze up on tests even though he knows the stuff. dunno if it worked. then we had homework due in calculus and steve hadn't been there on friday or monday but that wasn't that unusual but when he didn't turn up to turn homework in i was like hmmmmmm....... and ryan drew a picture of a monkey (nguyen, our t.a.) ripping off the head of mark bilinski (our teacher). yeah. oh yeah i think i remember. then eliot and i walked to dairy queen cuz i did'nt have a car cuz mom needed it. got a pumpkin pie blizzard. quite interesting. good but i couldn't eat too much of it. watched some star wars at his house till his mom came and took me home. weird to rely on parents again even if only for a little while.
wednesday took notes and watched more tucker in econ. had cookies ms quade brought for us. exactly enough for us all to have 3. sub in chemistry who went to the bathroom twice during the class. the first time was when i first got in there before the bell rang to be in class and she told me she was going to the bathroom almost as if asking permission. it was really odd. just the way i felt saying "ok." without even thinking about it i momentarily shifted to the role of permission-giver. strange. shortly into calc class steve showed up and i was like where have you been and he was like i'll tell you later. so yeah class class class. i've been paying enough attention i hope. then afterwards he told me he was about to drop out to play poker for a living. and snowboard on the side. it was kinda odd but interesting to hear about and to talk about like what influenced all his thoughts and decisions and such. walked most of the way toward his health class and then turned around and went back to the square. went to eliot's house and watched a little more star wars. heh taking forever on this one just like in econ with tucker.
then went to choir which was allright. wow erin's sister anna is liek the weirdest girl ever. i think she's like 12 or something. but like i dont know she's just sooo odd. she walks really funny and she speaks really forcefully and with kind of a spitting voice that's not too clear. and her eyes have this weird gleam in them all the time. yeah i'll stop ripping on erin's sister. i mean i dont hate her or anythign she's just the strangest child... then gave sara a ride home cuz her mom was sick or something. since i was already over there i went ahead and parked at mellow mushroom. gained a seat at a table next to zeke and including trevor, ben, and cameron. went to cvs to turn in my camera and get stuff like a brush. so hard to find a normal wire brush.....they wanna sell you the ionized one that spreads out the oil to give your hair more shine. i got enough shine already thankyouverymuch. then trivia which was fun and eliot came and eveything was beautiful and zeke is awesome and jake was there for the first time in ever (sometime when we were still going out i think). so that was awesome. he was gonna be on raymond's team but he joined ours cuz we're just that cool. so yeah trivia was happy.
ahh today. what a day. not enough eliot by far but it was still allright. someone took my spot yet again so i parked in the spot by the batting cage. printed in graphic arts but it was fucking up so badly and after a long long time and ink on the fingers cofo came over and we learned there was fuzz of some sort in the ink rollers which weas getting everywhere else and the ink was drying or somethign. i dunno it's complicated. eventually got some decent calendars printed and i had ink all over the finger tips of my left hand. not cuz it started there but becuause it was so thick that it got there as i was trying to wash it off. stocks in econ. and more tucker. but stil nto finished. sub in chem again this time a dude who was kinda weird but at least he didn't interfere. neither did the lady yesterday though. oh yeah yesterday we did a labish type thing and i got steel wool fibers in my eye and it sucked so i used the eyewash thingy and it helped. yay. weird cuz the sub said if it wasn't better i could go to the nurse. what would hte nurse do that an eyewash thing cant do? whatever.
back to today..... got to my car and there was a lovely note in my windshield wiper saying "dont fucking park in other people's spaces" so on the off chance they happened to look at my car in the afternoon i wrote a note in block letters on the other side that said "then TELL someone else not to park in My Spot" and let it hang out of my trunk liek a flag in the wind. got a wild blueberry toasted bagel with much cream cheese at einstein bros it was soooo good. saw my teacher mark there in line for starbucks. funny. then we had a quiz at the end of recitation. then i went back to the square and talked to will, lauren, matt, and christina for a sec (man it's soo easy now for me to tell when certain people are...ehm....altered) but i hadn't talked to kurt in a while so i went and hugged him, janet, and shawn. and then sat over with them for a long time. looking at kurt's picture of the insane mr huges conducting with a monkey beside him conducting as well and a building that just might be decatur high burning in the background.
talked more, looked at pictures, i worked on my latest sketck/piece of art. i seem to make works with the line quality of a sketch but that turn into finshed pieces with no need for further enhancement. unless i wanted to paint them or something. it is quite interesting. i am curious as to how it's gonna turn out. got a few suggestions from kurt. i think he didn't quite finish one though he told me not to make something still but i'm not sure how to make it moving..... so i did some work on that then looked at the time and jogged briskly from the square to the gym and then walked the rest of the way. there were some people at the batting cage including matt tate so i talked to him for a few minutes. then went to see eliot at smoothie king and get a butter pecan malt which tasted funny at first but i think it was cuz the powder wasn't absorbed yet cuz it tasted really good after a minute. but it was almost closing time. so when it was i left and went home for food and then a flute lesson.
left my flute at home but didn' realize till i was there. when i got there she wasn't there yet. so i laid in my car and talked to eliot for 10-15 minutes till she got there. had a lesson but we were both irritable so i turned to my old ways of being kinda interrupty. i do hold that she doesnt' always let me finish what i'm saying either but by now i'm over that. so it ended abruptly and only kind of short of what it should have been. i wasn't very calm but the interpol cd that cole just burned me helped calm me down a bit. it was good music to soothe my mood. stopped at the land trust on the way back to really gain my serenity back. climbed up into the pentagon platform in the pentagon pavilion and proceeded to meditate for a while. i managed to eventually find a good position which minimized the shivering but also allowed me to relax. very helpful. it's kinda hard though cuz i can control one layer of my thoughts and focus and lose myself but there's that second layer which is independent and soo hard to control that is always thinking of something or trying to add onto what the other layer is thinking. like i'm concentrating on my breathing with the surface layer but then the slightly unconscious layer tries to superimpose somethign on it like counting or the word "breathe" or sometimes it just wanders off........gotta work on that. overall a very good experience. it's like my special place to go and compose myelf. dont go there often. but it kind of is my one special place that i can really feel solitude. or something.