Raised by Wolves

[cefirus]

I've come to the conclusion that I was not properly socialized. The notion has occurred to me before, but has crystallized as I just finished reading "Self-Made Man" by Norah Vincent. Succinctly, it's the true story of a woman journalist who cross-dressed and lived as a man for eighteen months. As a sort of Tiresias, she takes on everything from

Comments

[cefirus]

My father, for whatever reason, would always tease me at the least indication of femininity. Any time I wore pink, or didn't pitch a hissy fit when I got put in a dress, he would tease me: "Ewww...you're wearing pink....are you a little giiirrll??" And of course being the mud-loving tree climbing tomboy I was, I'd get really indignant about the whole thing. So I never wore pink, until a few years ago. And I've always hated dresses and makeup and the like (though in the past years I've had more moments of girlish pleasure about getting dressed up).

I think you've put it right. I feel like an honorary boy. As though I inhabit some middle ground. I've always been more comfortable with males; and the females and female role models in my life are too strong and opinionated and smart to be able to be crammed into the feminine model she's sketching out in this book. So I've spent most of my adult life feeling like I just don't get it.

The conclusion Norah comes to is that women and men exist in nearly parallel worlds, that they are disparate sects who co-mingle only occasionally. I think that's the product of the kind of experience that she had, and the conflict of her internal struggle with being both "Norah" and "Ned".

I think I'm just going to go on about my nominally feminine ways. I can't find it in me to dumb down my vocabulary or to act catty or needy like many of the women she describes in this book. Surely I care what people think, but I think gender is more complex than two binary opposites crashing into each other.

[furison]

Nice insights. I think you're right.