Reasons Beer is awesome and necessary #38
- Friday night my mother arrived at our apartment. She stayed through Sunday evening. Saturday morning Kathy (Christian's mom) and Allyson (Christian's sister) arrived and stayed through Sunday afternoon. Friday I embarked on a cooking and entertaining-ness that has not been equalled since, ever. It ended Sunday evening when I collapsed into a nap.
- Everyone got along swimmingly.
- There were no arguments.
- Nothing caught on fire.
- The food was amazing.
- I was very very tired, and slightly drunk.
- The priest who baptized me (and taught my mother to drink) told my mother that I am living in sin. Christian and I replied to her that well .. "Yes, we are. Sin ... CINATTI!" Ho .... god.
- Christian and I discovered over 100 Sacred Datura plants growing in the yet-to-be-built next door condo development. They are scary, and I sort of want to dig up a small one and pot it for the guest room.
- Sonka ripped open the pads of his front right and back left feet while playing on the tennis courts. He is now out-of-commission Sir-Gimps-Alot. He's not pleased about the old gym socks we taped to his feet, but at least he doesn't try to chew them.
- I discovered that I overspent my bank account in its entirety and my balance equalled -$0.66 this morning. Today being the 1st, my automatic loan payment withdraw was set to pull out $150.88 of what I guess is the monopoly money I have left in the account. Sadly I have over $300 in checks and cash, but today being a holiday I had no way to deposit any of this and ensure it would be in my account by the time the withdraw was affected. Hopefully I haven't destroyed my credit through my own stupidity. Fuck.
- Being as I am out of money, and finally have the time, I sat down and applied to every job I saw today. This being about 5. Including 2 design positions, a veterinary receptionist position and an assistant editorship with a nearby newspaper, I am fairly optimistic about hearing back from at least one of these. Also the ad I responded to last week sounded very possible. I need a job.
- Christian bought me a camera. This is possibly the coolest thing ever. I found the listing on ebay for a brand new Nikon 60D with oodles of stuff: two full lenses (an 18-55 and a 70-200 zoom), a telephoto lens, 3 separate filters, a hard case, a soft case, a tabletop tripod, a full tripod, a separate flash unit, 2 4G SD cards and a card reader. All of this for $808.00. How sweet is that action?
- And now for the wierd: Taking Gimps-McGee out for a sightseeing trip to the pee-bush, Christian and I came face to face with a crime scene. The apartment building across from us appeared to be under direct investigation by the Warren County Sherrifs. Four patrol cars, 1 head-honcho SUV, and an unmarked detective's car were parked all over the lot and the place was swarming with police (complete with brimmed hats of awesomeness). At first we could not tell what was going on, and we speculated wildly with some of the neighbors (including one guy who's car was blocked in by the cops, who refused to move it so that he could take his trash out). Here's what we found out through our own investigative snooping/questioning:
- The disturbance appeared to be taking place in Apt 2 in the building next door. This is a 1st level unit which faces the main drive/lake. Sonka and I have often chased ducks through this yard.
- The 1st tip we had the the situation was bad was the photographing, white gloving and placing of items into carefully sealed plastic bags.
- A woman lived in the apartment in question, while her age is hitherto unknown.
- Said woman drives a Honda CRV, which was parked out front. Christian initially wondered aloud whether this could be some sort of drug bust. In response to this I pointed at the car and asked "What kind of Drug Maven drives one of those?" I mean it. What kind?
- The woman in question is dead. We know this with a 99.8% certainty as we saw what could only be a body removed from the rear door and placed into a waiting police van. (Police van my ass ... it was just a red minivan ... who puts a body in a red minivan?)
- We know it was a body because: a) it was in a body bag ... duh. and b) it was on a stretcher and looked like ... a body.
Loves,
Your friend with the horridly fucked up life ...