"This is where we used to live ..."
I am sitting in my stripped dorm room. The balcony doors hang open, banging in the increasing wind. Behind me, everything left behind from yesterday's moving sits stacked on a stolen and hoarded cart (to be shared between Nicole and Tricia). It's funny, these last four years can be packed up so easily and waved goodbye to with so little emotion. Things are over, and things are in transit. I just am not sure how to react. It's sort of turning me into the girl I didn't ever want to be. Can't I just go back to running off an climbing trees when I was confused and didn't want to face what was up ahead? Damn, dealing with shit just sucks.
Outside people are packing up everything they own, shoving boxes into large suv's or trucks and driving away, family members in tow. It's funny, I'm not nostalgic about this. I'm faking it, hoping it will come. The reality of the situation is difficult to accept. I won't be back. I don't know where I will be next August. I don't know where I will be living or what I will be doing. It's driving me crazy, yet I'm excited about it. I guess. Ask me in 6 months, and I'll know better how I was feeling now. Funny how that works.
I suppose I had better pack up the rest of my stuff or go for a run before the severe weather kicks into gear. Crossfit today looks painful. I think I need a workout friend to make me do it. Maybe I'll just get out and run 6 miles? Maybe I'll just to 1 push up every minute all day, maybe I'll just let myself be a bum ... laying in bed and reading does have such a beautiful ring to it.
Is writing pointless? I wonder if I have actually accomplished anything by writing this. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.
Time to delete my facebook, I think.
Outside people are packing up everything they own, shoving boxes into large suv's or trucks and driving away, family members in tow. It's funny, I'm not nostalgic about this. I'm faking it, hoping it will come. The reality of the situation is difficult to accept. I won't be back. I don't know where I will be next August. I don't know where I will be living or what I will be doing. It's driving me crazy, yet I'm excited about it. I guess. Ask me in 6 months, and I'll know better how I was feeling now. Funny how that works.
I suppose I had better pack up the rest of my stuff or go for a run before the severe weather kicks into gear. Crossfit today looks painful. I think I need a workout friend to make me do it. Maybe I'll just get out and run 6 miles? Maybe I'll just to 1 push up every minute all day, maybe I'll just let myself be a bum ... laying in bed and reading does have such a beautiful ring to it.
Is writing pointless? I wonder if I have actually accomplished anything by writing this. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.
Time to delete my facebook, I think.