Untrue Stories and Lies ...
I'm writing this in rehearsal. It's rude. I can't seem to generate the energy to worry about it.
"Line"
While difficult, the last few weeks have held much of the hotness. Awesome TSAV parties, my family humiliating themselves with copious alcohol consumption, me being a bitch, lots of horseback riding and wonderful food. If only I could stop swimming in my homework, and being so deadly tired every day, things would be wonderful (and there would be less stressed/pissy/irrational me).
"Line"
It seems there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done I need to. Read this novel, read these articles, read this play, now this one, now this one. And where are you critique papers? Don't we have a poster yet? What about this package? Don't forget the production meeting! Write up these reports. Count your strides, but only to 4! Shoulders back. Eyes ahead. Run without clenching your hands. Relax. BREATHE! Now run. Run to the Conserve, Run to class, Run back to my room. Sit, read, STAY AWAKE! Run. Run away. Run back to class. Work through class, keep up that participation grade. Lead discussions cause no one else will. Avoid people because you will kill them. Put your actors back together after your director destroys them. Try not to yell at them yourself. Control your temper. Sit on your temper. Please stop letting your temper off on the people you aren't actually angry with. Only take 20 min for yourself. You don't need that much time. Doesn't your running count as personal time? What? Yelling at yourself to finish that last hill isn't relaxing. Fuck off. I don't need sleep, I need to punch someone. Right now, the only person I can hit is myself ... and so I run. I run 20, 24, 26, 28, 20 miles a week. I run till i scream fuck. FUCK!
"Line?"
Okay, so I have some stress. I applied for a job in Terre Haute. I need to finish a letter to the boss to send it to him as a thank you. A thank you for the weirdest, but most interesting interview of my life. If I can get it, I can quit the theatre. I can quit a lot of things here and just focus on being me and graduating. 20 hours a week is a lot of dedication, but that's just it. Only 20 hours. Not 20 hours and phone calls to my room and emails making me feel like shit and jobs I can't do and people to further disappoint.
"Line."
J.p. and Johnaness .... Saturday's Line running.2pm. Conserve. With Sharon. I won't be there.
"Line"
I want to buy a pony. His name is Pass and he is too expensive. His potential is pretty high. I think he could make a pretty decent eventer (depending on his jumping style and his confidence). He's my training pony. I'm gaining his confidence, and it would kill me to hand him off to someone who would just rip him around that arena and not understand him. He's a bit delicate right now. Adorable, smart, playful and delicate.
Passafrass:
$1200. Can I afford that? Do I really want this horse on my hands after I graduate? Do I really want to take the time to ground him well enough to see what he's good at? Do I really have the want to show him off?
"Line"
While difficult, the last few weeks have held much of the hotness. Awesome TSAV parties, my family humiliating themselves with copious alcohol consumption, me being a bitch, lots of horseback riding and wonderful food. If only I could stop swimming in my homework, and being so deadly tired every day, things would be wonderful (and there would be less stressed/pissy/irrational me).
"Line"
It seems there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done I need to. Read this novel, read these articles, read this play, now this one, now this one. And where are you critique papers? Don't we have a poster yet? What about this package? Don't forget the production meeting! Write up these reports. Count your strides, but only to 4! Shoulders back. Eyes ahead. Run without clenching your hands. Relax. BREATHE! Now run. Run to the Conserve, Run to class, Run back to my room. Sit, read, STAY AWAKE! Run. Run away. Run back to class. Work through class, keep up that participation grade. Lead discussions cause no one else will. Avoid people because you will kill them. Put your actors back together after your director destroys them. Try not to yell at them yourself. Control your temper. Sit on your temper. Please stop letting your temper off on the people you aren't actually angry with. Only take 20 min for yourself. You don't need that much time. Doesn't your running count as personal time? What? Yelling at yourself to finish that last hill isn't relaxing. Fuck off. I don't need sleep, I need to punch someone. Right now, the only person I can hit is myself ... and so I run. I run 20, 24, 26, 28, 20 miles a week. I run till i scream fuck. FUCK!
"Line?"
Okay, so I have some stress. I applied for a job in Terre Haute. I need to finish a letter to the boss to send it to him as a thank you. A thank you for the weirdest, but most interesting interview of my life. If I can get it, I can quit the theatre. I can quit a lot of things here and just focus on being me and graduating. 20 hours a week is a lot of dedication, but that's just it. Only 20 hours. Not 20 hours and phone calls to my room and emails making me feel like shit and jobs I can't do and people to further disappoint.
"Line."
J.p. and Johnaness .... Saturday's Line running.2pm. Conserve. With Sharon. I won't be there.
"Line"
I want to buy a pony. His name is Pass and he is too expensive. His potential is pretty high. I think he could make a pretty decent eventer (depending on his jumping style and his confidence). He's my training pony. I'm gaining his confidence, and it would kill me to hand him off to someone who would just rip him around that arena and not understand him. He's a bit delicate right now. Adorable, smart, playful and delicate.
Passafrass:
$1200. Can I afford that? Do I really want this horse on my hands after I graduate? Do I really want to take the time to ground him well enough to see what he's good at? Do I really have the want to show him off?