I'm going insane.
My anxiety is starting to grow.
Living alone on top of not being able to drive... not only are my tags expired now, my license has been suspended too. Got things in order to take care of it, just waiting on paper work to go through. I can't go anywhere, I'm stuck here, in my apartment.
I'm in the hole almost 200 dollars, because I've paid BCC too much money. I need to save money to pay for my tags, but I need to pay for my internet. I might have to pay reinstatement fees. I may have to buy SR-22 insurance again. I am so fucked.
I might loose my job because I'm an irresponsible dumbass.
I am so fucked.
Bad karma, bad karma all at once, and now I'm drowning again. I was treading water fine, I was getting through ok, doing what I was supposed to, and then I fucked up again. How am I supposed to grow if I can't learn? Why can't I learn? Why, why, why?
I'm crawling out of my skin and I'm a nervous wreck. I have 277 dollars that may not even be enough to make sure it's legal for me to drive, and I know for a fact my luck is running out. It's only a matter of time before I get pulled over, and when I do I have no doubts I will go to jail. I can't ask my father for more money, he's given me so much already in the past couple of months. Hell, since he came into my life he's been hemorrhaging money for me to try and get me on track.
What the fuck am I good for?
If I don't loose my job, if I can just keep my job, it will be ok. If there is any god anywhere that exists in this universe please, please just let me keep my job.
I want to call Frank, to talk to him. I feel like I need him, I just want someone to talk to. I never feel like he judges me when I talk to him. I don't censor myself, I don't have many inhibitions when I'm around him. I miss him, a lot, actually.
Things will get better, this is just a knot in time. Time will keep moving, and what happens will happen, and I will deal with it. I've made less than wise decisions and must face the consequences. The waves are rough, but I can ride this out, I have to. I don't get a choice. Aaron needs me, is depending on me.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
-C
Living alone on top of not being able to drive... not only are my tags expired now, my license has been suspended too. Got things in order to take care of it, just waiting on paper work to go through. I can't go anywhere, I'm stuck here, in my apartment.
I'm in the hole almost 200 dollars, because I've paid BCC too much money. I need to save money to pay for my tags, but I need to pay for my internet. I might have to pay reinstatement fees. I may have to buy SR-22 insurance again. I am so fucked.
I might loose my job because I'm an irresponsible dumbass.
I am so fucked.
Bad karma, bad karma all at once, and now I'm drowning again. I was treading water fine, I was getting through ok, doing what I was supposed to, and then I fucked up again. How am I supposed to grow if I can't learn? Why can't I learn? Why, why, why?
I'm crawling out of my skin and I'm a nervous wreck. I have 277 dollars that may not even be enough to make sure it's legal for me to drive, and I know for a fact my luck is running out. It's only a matter of time before I get pulled over, and when I do I have no doubts I will go to jail. I can't ask my father for more money, he's given me so much already in the past couple of months. Hell, since he came into my life he's been hemorrhaging money for me to try and get me on track.
What the fuck am I good for?
If I don't loose my job, if I can just keep my job, it will be ok. If there is any god anywhere that exists in this universe please, please just let me keep my job.
I want to call Frank, to talk to him. I feel like I need him, I just want someone to talk to. I never feel like he judges me when I talk to him. I don't censor myself, I don't have many inhibitions when I'm around him. I miss him, a lot, actually.
Things will get better, this is just a knot in time. Time will keep moving, and what happens will happen, and I will deal with it. I've made less than wise decisions and must face the consequences. The waves are rough, but I can ride this out, I have to. I don't get a choice. Aaron needs me, is depending on me.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
-C