when honesty is not
Today I realised how being honest with friends can actually work against you.
I don't like to plot or instigate. Its too much for me to handled and stressful on the mind. What I say to my friends, are what I really think.
We all form perceptions about people when we see them. Like, this person is cute/ugly/well-dressed/sloppy/talkative/quiet/intelligent/dumb/.
When I see that friend's partner is cute, and I tell my friend "hey your date is damn cute", I am being honest with my friend about my perception of his date. I see nothing wrong with not keeping this opinion to myself, especially its a compliment and I have no action plan or agenda beyond making that comment.
Unfortunately, being honest, even with compliments to friends can actually paint a negative impression of myself. Making some feel like I am a potential relationship wrecker.
There's nothing I can do to work on the vibes I give out to people, afterall 'vibes' are perceived by each individual. What I can depend on is for my friends to know me well enough to know what I actually am. If they don't then at the very least give me a chance to explain.
I don't like to plot or instigate. Its too much for me to handled and stressful on the mind. What I say to my friends, are what I really think.
We all form perceptions about people when we see them. Like, this person is cute/ugly/well-dressed/sloppy/talkative/quiet/intelligent/dumb/.
When I see that friend's partner is cute, and I tell my friend "hey your date is damn cute", I am being honest with my friend about my perception of his date. I see nothing wrong with not keeping this opinion to myself, especially its a compliment and I have no action plan or agenda beyond making that comment.
Unfortunately, being honest, even with compliments to friends can actually paint a negative impression of myself. Making some feel like I am a potential relationship wrecker.
There's nothing I can do to work on the vibes I give out to people, afterall 'vibes' are perceived by each individual. What I can depend on is for my friends to know me well enough to know what I actually am. If they don't then at the very least give me a chance to explain.