Living
This is how nature, our mother, acts toward us.
First, she gives us life. And then, as though
that were not miracle enough, she revives us
daily, bringing us back to life each dawn, just as
she brought us into life that first time.
Then she gives us food, enough to sustain
ourselves throughout our days. And finally,
when we have filled our days with her kindness,
she takes us back into herself, we fall back
into her deep womb, safe in her sacred darknesses.
--Roman prayer to the earth, third century CE
Living with awareness of how near death stands is neither morbid nor terrifying. Rather it deepens our love, for we recognise how fragile we all are, how soon we will all be gone, passing like weather across the face of a spring-green mountain.
I loved the imagery in the quote from the text... the weather passing over the face of a spring-green mountain...
Such is the impermanent nature of our lives, really - of any life - what is a couple of years, a decade or so... even a hundred years in the face of eternity? And yet, our very impermanence is that which has the power to kindle our love, to deepen it and give it meaning beyond the shallow daily tread of our lives.
I know that I shall one day die... therefore I wish to spend my life living, not just existing. I know that the same is true of the one I love, so I wish to share that living with my husband, sharing all that we can, whenever we can... and however we can.
I'm certain people reading that are doing so and seeing desperation in the words; the need to squeeze every last drop of together time into those occasions when we are together. And yes, it used to be that way - and there was a tremendous amount of stress and misery because of it. Until this meditation I didn't realise quote how much. Yet - sitting here, with the veil lifted from my eyes as often is the case in meditations I realise that each and every moment that we are together is already special and sacred to the two of us. We don't need to cram it full of artificial 'togetherness' and I feel like such a shallow fool for not understanding and accepting this before. I have done us both such a disservice by hanging on to that attitude: must be together, must go together, must stay awake...
Oh it's all a very spiritual realisation - now I need to make sure the emotional self accepts it. Such is the dichotomy of life.