self revelations
So, Justin is going to take the car to corpus for thanksgiving without me. I couldn't really place my finger on why I so didn't want to go. I love his family, we get along really well. His Dad is hilarious. His sister and I are friends. So why did I feel this impending doom when I thought about going?
I just realized today.
because what if my dad isn't around next thanksgiving? or the next or the next?
My dad is sick. he is not going to get better from this. even if it takes 15 or 20 years (please please please) this disease will eventually kill him.
and i need to be around. i need to spend every holiday with him. i need to have as many memories with him as possible
because i love my daddy. because he is the only person in the whole world who loves me as is. because he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better or calm down. because he is the only person who understands my mother. what will she do without him? what will i do? who will i talk to
this scares the shit out of me. i don't want to lose my daddy. i don't like watching him be tired all the time. or having to give himself shots everyday. it's not fair
he doesn't deserve it.
so that's why i have to be in town on holidays. i don't know why it just dawned on me right now.
my dad needs to know how much i love him.
I just realized today.
because what if my dad isn't around next thanksgiving? or the next or the next?
My dad is sick. he is not going to get better from this. even if it takes 15 or 20 years (please please please) this disease will eventually kill him.
and i need to be around. i need to spend every holiday with him. i need to have as many memories with him as possible
because i love my daddy. because he is the only person in the whole world who loves me as is. because he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better or calm down. because he is the only person who understands my mother. what will she do without him? what will i do? who will i talk to
this scares the shit out of me. i don't want to lose my daddy. i don't like watching him be tired all the time. or having to give himself shots everyday. it's not fair
he doesn't deserve it.
so that's why i have to be in town on holidays. i don't know why it just dawned on me right now.
my dad needs to know how much i love him.