It has come to an end...?
So it seems that things are changing around here for most of everyone--our friends are getting married/having children, moving for new jobs, moving into new apartments with new roommates, dating new pple... Life is what it is, though it is a bittersweet feeling to know it's taking us farther away from each other.
I'm starting over, too. I accepted a job in Charleston and will be leaving sometime in the beginning of July. I was thrilled at first: the job is a fantastic opportunity, the city, of course, is just breathtaking and I will inherit a lot of friends through my brother and the other pple I already know there. For years I've been saying I'm going to pack up and skip town, head straight for the coast but now that doesn't seem as liberating.
I started seeing this wonderful guy a few weeks ago. Horrible timing to begin a relationship, we both know. He treats me, quite honestly, like I've never been treated before. Just completely open, understanding, respectful, polite--and he has never said anything I do bothers him (though I'm sure there are a hundred things that irritate him, as with every couple). But last night we had a talk and he could tell my heart isn't in it. I care about him, I do. But I don't think I'm ready for another serious relationship right now. I crashed and burned on the last one and I think I'm still smarting from it. Plus he's so good to me, SO good to me, I just feel awful that I can't return it, as if I don't deserve this. And he certainly shouldn't settle for someone who can't appreciate all that he is and does. It would be easier if we could make ourselves love.
... and to make ourselves not love, or to fall out of love, with someone we can't help loving...
I AM excited to go to Charleston. I'm looking forward to going to the beaches, to go for runs along the Battery and East Bay, and to work again. But leaving here hurts a bit b/c I remember when I had strong hopes for this place. Some things don't work out, I understand that, it's just harder to accept that when you put all your eggs in one basket (for lack of a better analogy) and you realize it isn't possible. Cest la vie? I suppose.
I had wonderful times here--and if nothing else, I can say I have made the best friends in the world, fallen in love with the most gorgeous blue eyes and smile I've ever seen, started a career, laughed often and learned some important lessons.
I'm starting over, too. I accepted a job in Charleston and will be leaving sometime in the beginning of July. I was thrilled at first: the job is a fantastic opportunity, the city, of course, is just breathtaking and I will inherit a lot of friends through my brother and the other pple I already know there. For years I've been saying I'm going to pack up and skip town, head straight for the coast but now that doesn't seem as liberating.
I started seeing this wonderful guy a few weeks ago. Horrible timing to begin a relationship, we both know. He treats me, quite honestly, like I've never been treated before. Just completely open, understanding, respectful, polite--and he has never said anything I do bothers him (though I'm sure there are a hundred things that irritate him, as with every couple). But last night we had a talk and he could tell my heart isn't in it. I care about him, I do. But I don't think I'm ready for another serious relationship right now. I crashed and burned on the last one and I think I'm still smarting from it. Plus he's so good to me, SO good to me, I just feel awful that I can't return it, as if I don't deserve this. And he certainly shouldn't settle for someone who can't appreciate all that he is and does. It would be easier if we could make ourselves love.
... and to make ourselves not love, or to fall out of love, with someone we can't help loving...
I AM excited to go to Charleston. I'm looking forward to going to the beaches, to go for runs along the Battery and East Bay, and to work again. But leaving here hurts a bit b/c I remember when I had strong hopes for this place. Some things don't work out, I understand that, it's just harder to accept that when you put all your eggs in one basket (for lack of a better analogy) and you realize it isn't possible. Cest la vie? I suppose.
I had wonderful times here--and if nothing else, I can say I have made the best friends in the world, fallen in love with the most gorgeous blue eyes and smile I've ever seen, started a career, laughed often and learned some important lessons.