(no subject)
So it's official, my cousin from Hong Kong is coming to Calgary for high school (presumably university as well). Her entire family will be coming end of July, and then her parents and sister will leave end of August.
She'll be living with us.
And I'm quite dreading it, because I am afraid - really afraid - that I will hate her. Totally and thoroughly resent her. Then what, I have to put up with her for three years. Minimum!
I've always been the odd one out in the family, the westernized, whitewashed kid who doesn't keep her opinions to herself and doesn't hesitate to criticize something, anything. I despise how my relatives and parents were forever comparing Hong Kong and Calgary, complaining about Canada while going on about how the Hong Kong system was far better. (Why the hell did you move over here then, I asked. They said that's a different matter. NO, IT REALLY ISN'T.)
So of course, my cousin's everything they love. A fresh off the boat, proper Hong Kong girl.
One of my biggest personality flaws is my pettiness. I get really defensive. I get really jealous. Especially when it's within the family. All these years, I've never received any recognition for *anything* that I've accomplished. When I won 2nd place at the biotech competition last year, my father said it was simply because I was lucky, and all the prize money went into my parents' account anyway. So it *did* piss me off when we saw my cousin's school transcripts, which were pretty damn bad; he who had slapped me over a high-80 mark staunchly DEFENDED her barely passing ones "because the HK education system is much harder". Yes, I admit that the system is demanding. Harder...depends on what you're talking about. But she's still at the bottom of her class, which I think generally means she's NOT THAT GREAT OF A STUDENT. Of course, my mother backs my father up (especially since this cousin is on my mother's side).
I'm not so much angry with him defending her as I am that he makes excuses everytime I do something *right*. I earned everything fair and square, dammit. I may be educated in the oh-so-inferior Canadian system, but the teachers aren't handing out honours like free tissue.
But I was okay, fairly jaded by now. No one in my family is much of a scholar, and the only thing that really keeps my relatives and parents from totally disrespecting me is my academic standings. And height. Those are the only things I have to boast in my family: good marks, lots of extracurricular activities/volunteer work and being the tallest female. Unfortunately, they don't really care. Those are only supplementary things for a girl. Personality comes first, and I get the feeling that they all secretly hate being around me for too long. Too Canadian/wild for them or something.
The Story: My mother told my cousin and her family *last year* that they needed to make their decision (to come or not) by November. Februrary rolled along, they still didn't know. They finally decided in MAY. By then I had thought that they weren't interested, seeing how the deadline for the Catholic school board was back in March and the public board's deadline was second week of June. Nope, in May my mother tells me they needed to fill in the forms and such. So in between pulling all-nighters and cramming for the last month of school, I got to go through all her documents, go through all the application forms, look up stuff online, and pretty much fill in the application FOR her. Her mother provided me with some personal information, and I went through the entire thing filling it out. What did my cousin do? Absolutely nothing. Okay, fine, I don't mind helping out. I was fairly sleep-deprived, but I lived.
They weren't aware of the separate school boards (someone didn't their homework...) OR the deadlines, so I also spent my days making phone calls to counsellors, organizers, school board people, etc etc etc. My mother was suppose to do that, but the secretary apparently couldn't understand her English. (note: the woman was really condescending. I hated talking to her.)
I also learned just HOW hard it is to try and get hold of someone on the school board. I swear, that guy's never in his office (where he is *suppose* to be). Just what is he paid for?
Then a week ago, my aunt and mother told me to write the essay for her student visa application. And I said What. The. Hell.
They said it was because it had to be in English, so I should "help out my cousin and write it for her". I kept saying no, but my mother nagged me so much that I finally churned out a gigantic piece of crap. I emailed it to them and told them to change it to something that sounded like their own English level, because I wasn't about to do that for them as well.
My cousin didn't even ATTEMPT to write anything. My aunt and mother didn't even ask her to make that attempt, they just went right to me. I wouldn't have mind editing something she had wrote, adding bits and pieces to improve it. But throwing the instructions at me and telling me to cough up something because it's my duty? No. Just no.
This is not my application. This is not my matter. This is not my problem. If I had just ditch it all and left it up to them to screw up, I really wouldn't care all that much. (I should've done that.)
It may be summer vacation, and for once I'm not doing summer school, but that doesn't mean I have a lot of free time on my hands. I work five days a week, I have piano, I have volunteering at church and the hospital, and I'd *like* to have a social life. I sometimes read my cousins' xangas (they don't know my blog, but happily shared theirs), and they're shopping and going to movies and going out with friends. Hey. How about taking a little responsibility for your own matters. Because I'm really, really tired of doing your crap for you.
If she comes here and slacks on her schoolwork, I'm so going to whip her butt into shape. Her marks NEED to go up, because we want her to transfer into a Catholic school. Right now she has to go to some public school with a poor reputation 'cause she applied so late and her marks aren't the greatest. I'm not going to have the time to tutor her everyday, and I sure ain't doing any of her homework for her, so she better get ready to work.
Man, I'm going to be such a bitch. Don't they dare give her special treatment. Because I know if I was the one going to HK to study, they'd either not care or raise their expectations.
If they can laugh at my Chinese slip-ups, I should be allowed to laugh at their English. (<< childish thought #295)
It's unfair of me to treat her this way, yeah. We haven't really talked in years. And it's not so much her fault as it is my older relatives.
But I'm bitter anyway. :E (And her mother keeps calling me fat! Another old grudge, right there. Riiiight there.)
blabbering over. that made me feel better.
She'll be living with us.
And I'm quite dreading it, because I am afraid - really afraid - that I will hate her. Totally and thoroughly resent her. Then what, I have to put up with her for three years. Minimum!
I've always been the odd one out in the family, the westernized, whitewashed kid who doesn't keep her opinions to herself and doesn't hesitate to criticize something, anything. I despise how my relatives and parents were forever comparing Hong Kong and Calgary, complaining about Canada while going on about how the Hong Kong system was far better. (Why the hell did you move over here then, I asked. They said that's a different matter. NO, IT REALLY ISN'T.)
So of course, my cousin's everything they love. A fresh off the boat, proper Hong Kong girl.
One of my biggest personality flaws is my pettiness. I get really defensive. I get really jealous. Especially when it's within the family. All these years, I've never received any recognition for *anything* that I've accomplished. When I won 2nd place at the biotech competition last year, my father said it was simply because I was lucky, and all the prize money went into my parents' account anyway. So it *did* piss me off when we saw my cousin's school transcripts, which were pretty damn bad; he who had slapped me over a high-80 mark staunchly DEFENDED her barely passing ones "because the HK education system is much harder". Yes, I admit that the system is demanding. Harder...depends on what you're talking about. But she's still at the bottom of her class, which I think generally means she's NOT THAT GREAT OF A STUDENT. Of course, my mother backs my father up (especially since this cousin is on my mother's side).
I'm not so much angry with him defending her as I am that he makes excuses everytime I do something *right*. I earned everything fair and square, dammit. I may be educated in the oh-so-inferior Canadian system, but the teachers aren't handing out honours like free tissue.
But I was okay, fairly jaded by now. No one in my family is much of a scholar, and the only thing that really keeps my relatives and parents from totally disrespecting me is my academic standings. And height. Those are the only things I have to boast in my family: good marks, lots of extracurricular activities/volunteer work and being the tallest female. Unfortunately, they don't really care. Those are only supplementary things for a girl. Personality comes first, and I get the feeling that they all secretly hate being around me for too long. Too Canadian/wild for them or something.
The Story: My mother told my cousin and her family *last year* that they needed to make their decision (to come or not) by November. Februrary rolled along, they still didn't know. They finally decided in MAY. By then I had thought that they weren't interested, seeing how the deadline for the Catholic school board was back in March and the public board's deadline was second week of June. Nope, in May my mother tells me they needed to fill in the forms and such. So in between pulling all-nighters and cramming for the last month of school, I got to go through all her documents, go through all the application forms, look up stuff online, and pretty much fill in the application FOR her. Her mother provided me with some personal information, and I went through the entire thing filling it out. What did my cousin do? Absolutely nothing. Okay, fine, I don't mind helping out. I was fairly sleep-deprived, but I lived.
They weren't aware of the separate school boards (someone didn't their homework...) OR the deadlines, so I also spent my days making phone calls to counsellors, organizers, school board people, etc etc etc. My mother was suppose to do that, but the secretary apparently couldn't understand her English. (note: the woman was really condescending. I hated talking to her.)
I also learned just HOW hard it is to try and get hold of someone on the school board. I swear, that guy's never in his office (where he is *suppose* to be). Just what is he paid for?
Then a week ago, my aunt and mother told me to write the essay for her student visa application. And I said What. The. Hell.
They said it was because it had to be in English, so I should "help out my cousin and write it for her". I kept saying no, but my mother nagged me so much that I finally churned out a gigantic piece of crap. I emailed it to them and told them to change it to something that sounded like their own English level, because I wasn't about to do that for them as well.
My cousin didn't even ATTEMPT to write anything. My aunt and mother didn't even ask her to make that attempt, they just went right to me. I wouldn't have mind editing something she had wrote, adding bits and pieces to improve it. But throwing the instructions at me and telling me to cough up something because it's my duty? No. Just no.
This is not my application. This is not my matter. This is not my problem. If I had just ditch it all and left it up to them to screw up, I really wouldn't care all that much. (I should've done that.)
It may be summer vacation, and for once I'm not doing summer school, but that doesn't mean I have a lot of free time on my hands. I work five days a week, I have piano, I have volunteering at church and the hospital, and I'd *like* to have a social life. I sometimes read my cousins' xangas (they don't know my blog, but happily shared theirs), and they're shopping and going to movies and going out with friends. Hey. How about taking a little responsibility for your own matters. Because I'm really, really tired of doing your crap for you.
If she comes here and slacks on her schoolwork, I'm so going to whip her butt into shape. Her marks NEED to go up, because we want her to transfer into a Catholic school. Right now she has to go to some public school with a poor reputation 'cause she applied so late and her marks aren't the greatest. I'm not going to have the time to tutor her everyday, and I sure ain't doing any of her homework for her, so she better get ready to work.
Man, I'm going to be such a bitch. Don't they dare give her special treatment. Because I know if I was the one going to HK to study, they'd either not care or raise their expectations.
If they can laugh at my Chinese slip-ups, I should be allowed to laugh at their English. (<< childish thought #295)
It's unfair of me to treat her this way, yeah. We haven't really talked in years. And it's not so much her fault as it is my older relatives.
But I'm bitter anyway. :E (And her mother keeps calling me fat! Another old grudge, right there. Riiiight there.)
blabbering over. that made me feel better.