Increasing irritation
So far, I hate this year. I feel like I'm getting swallowed by it. Tavis had a kidney stone in the beginning of the month. He had no insurance, but I had to take him in. I thought he was dying. He's never had a history of kidney stones, so I had no idea what was wrong. Anyway, we managed to rack up quite a hospital/radiology/provider bill. Thankfully, we have gotten some discounts since we're paying out of our own pocket, but it's still stressful. Next, both of our cars broke. The Impala smelled like burning and made a weird whirring noise. The Suzuki seems to have a rusting/disjointed tire-rod problem. I don't really know what it is. We fixed the Impala, but it cost $400. Both of my cats have had fleas since the summer, and the flea medicine we got them didn't work, and we don't really have the money to take them to the vet right now. The GI bill never pays us on time, and they haven't paid us since the end of December. They only paid us half of our stipend then, so we've been running on $900 since then. We can never get a hold of them because they only work the phones three days a week, and they don't generally have a "hold" option. If the lines get too busy, they just say "Try again later" and hang up on you. In a panic, I called everyone. I called the Disabled American Veterans, talked to an ex-Commander, called the local offices, and they all just kept giving me different phone numbers. Finally, I started e-mailing every government office I could think of -- President, Senator, Governor, etc. None of them helped either. We finally got a hold of the VA on Monday. They told me that I don't have access to his things. Apparently, Tavis has to sign some sort of "Permission to Discuss" form. I'm like...DUDE. I just gave you his Social Security number. Why can't you just let me deal with this. I have rent and bills to pay. "Nope, we can't. Sorry. Have him call us." UGH! So, Tav finally gets a hold of them, and they tell him that we won't be getting any money until March at the earliest. Between each quarter, they have to re-process all of the claims, and it takes 6 to 8 weeks because they do it by hand, which is also why they don't answer the phones on Thursday and Friday -- because they are processing claims. UM HELLO. IT IS 2010. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS SHIT BY HAND? Why isn't it direct deposited into his bank account every month, on time? Why do you have to re-process it EVERY quarter? A quarter is fucking 10 weeks long...and it takes you ALMOST that to process his claim. How do you expect him to pay tuition you fucking morons?!?!?! UGHGHGHG!
On another note, I can't fucking stand my job. It's making me completely insane. No one talks to anyone, ever. I sit in front of a computer all day with headphones on and have no human interaction until I get home. I feel like everyone there thinks I'm a weirdo because I always say "hi" to people in the break room. I have to use vacation time for this stupid snow storm. I don't have control over the fucking weather, why should I have to sacrifice the time I earned to avoid getting killed? I've been late to work every day this week because of accidents on the highway, and now they want me to stay late and make it all up. I don't want to. I don't want to wake up in the morning anymore because I don't want to go there. I've been furiously applying to jobs every day in an attempt to get out of that place. I just really hate it. It doesn't help that I only have like...two or three acquaintances here. I'm so fucking irritated with everything. The only thing that makes me feel better is Tavis. Life really sucks sometimes.
I decided last night that I just need to stop. When I get to work and see my assignments, I say, "Oh, good, crappy shows means a crappy day." I have to stop thinking that way. I can hate my job all I want, but until I find another one, I have to work there. I have to deal with it. I can't just quit jobs anymore, because there's no backup. We need to move out of this apartment in a few months and I need to have an income to help pay for everything. Sometimes life sucks and you just have to suck it up and take the hits as they come. So I will. I will start looking on the bright side. I should volunteer. I might make some friends that way. Maybe even get a new job.
The first year in a new place is always the worst. I remember feeling exactly this way when I first moved to Washington, but Tavis wasn't even around to make me feel better. I should be happy that I have him this time around.
I feel better just writing this.
On another note, I can't fucking stand my job. It's making me completely insane. No one talks to anyone, ever. I sit in front of a computer all day with headphones on and have no human interaction until I get home. I feel like everyone there thinks I'm a weirdo because I always say "hi" to people in the break room. I have to use vacation time for this stupid snow storm. I don't have control over the fucking weather, why should I have to sacrifice the time I earned to avoid getting killed? I've been late to work every day this week because of accidents on the highway, and now they want me to stay late and make it all up. I don't want to. I don't want to wake up in the morning anymore because I don't want to go there. I've been furiously applying to jobs every day in an attempt to get out of that place. I just really hate it. It doesn't help that I only have like...two or three acquaintances here. I'm so fucking irritated with everything. The only thing that makes me feel better is Tavis. Life really sucks sometimes.
I decided last night that I just need to stop. When I get to work and see my assignments, I say, "Oh, good, crappy shows means a crappy day." I have to stop thinking that way. I can hate my job all I want, but until I find another one, I have to work there. I have to deal with it. I can't just quit jobs anymore, because there's no backup. We need to move out of this apartment in a few months and I need to have an income to help pay for everything. Sometimes life sucks and you just have to suck it up and take the hits as they come. So I will. I will start looking on the bright side. I should volunteer. I might make some friends that way. Maybe even get a new job.
The first year in a new place is always the worst. I remember feeling exactly this way when I first moved to Washington, but Tavis wasn't even around to make me feel better. I should be happy that I have him this time around.
I feel better just writing this.