and is that all right with you?
Somedays, I think it would be intelligent to wear a "Please Don't Disturb" sign. Like today. I was fine for most of it, but some people just pissed me off. For no reason or for reason. It was one of those days where a hug could have destroyed or made me, where I didn't see Zach enough and there was a serious lack of Muriel. And boy compassion. Its odd sometimes, how a male can make you feel. Just their embrace can be really nice, and feels protective, and its a little more than a girl friends. Those only go so far because they can say "i know how you feel"- but a guy doesn't nessicarily, so when he does give you a hug, it doesn't matter if he gets it, its just him trying tomake you feel better. I don't know, I don't make sense and am lacking in the explaining myself area, but yes- my thoughts. So anyway, today I wish I had had a sign. A Please Don't Disturb sign, I dont really think I was that mean, but my mood has been weird lately anyways, for a few days, and I'm not sure why. We've kinda started an eating healthy trend, and theres the band book, and dance show at Triton this friday, and my headache that I've had all day, but I did manage to forget about it for the hour and forty minutes on the phone. And now my dad had a heart attack. And I'm really bad at talking, unless I'm giving facts, which I can do fine. But I'm actually good at talking, just not about that, because I'm unhealthy and clot my emotions (?). I'm not sure. But yes he did, maybe typing it here will make it fewer people who dismiss me being weird currently as being mean. But maybe I am being mean? Not sure. Oh well. I'm just bad at telling people. I called kidna to tell Muriel, and didn't tell her for like a half hour. And yesterday when I found out, I was with Kate and Mike, so they knew. I told Jess in band, not sure why. And then a boy who lives an hour away, but is managing to be noticed. I'm not good at telling people. I wish I could tell someone in particular, but he isn't currently acknowledging me, actually make that two somebodies. Because there are two. And they're both my headaches, along with my dad's heart.