(no subject)
so i just got back from the hospital. my favorite cook at donna's has been in neuro shock trauma critical care for about a week now. they found his car flipped over on the side of 95 South last monday night and he has basically been in a coma for the entire duration of the week. yesterday the doctors found no brain activity. therefore, they are going to pull the plug on him sometime tonight. i am so overwhelmingly sad. this isnt something that i have ever had to deal with ever and when i was in that hospital room, surrounded with all his family and friends, seeing him with all those tubes coming out of him, it just felt surreal, as if i was being given my own personal tour of the show ER. i was seeing my friend in front of me, sprawled on the hospital bed, but my body was telling me that this wasnt real at all. it was a strange feeling because i have never had to remind myself that something was indeed REAL until that very moment when i was inside the hospital room. even then, the realness was only in relation to some pop-culture tv show. it was also very disturbing to see that all the rooms in shock trauma were filled, every bed had a man [weird, i just realized they were all men] in a bed with tubes coming out of him. all of them were unconscious, all of them had at least one grieving friend/relative in the room. i dont understand how anyone can become a doctor and be able to become so desensitized to death. the combination of the puke fluorescent lighting and smell of decaying body fluids made me nauseous too.
he had just fixed up his car and given it a new paint job and he was working 2 jobs to save up to buy a wedding ring so that he could propose to his girlfriend. i couldnt even look at her without bursting into tears, she has been clinging onto his arm and crying for days. i couldnt look at his parents either, they just looked like two of the saddest people on earth, hunched over as if they had both given up on life too.
right now im terrified of transportation vessels and am thinking an entirely hermit like existence wouldnt be too bad. today is a sad sad day. i hope everyone has a safe new years and uses common sense. the whole, it won't happen to me it will happen to someone else theory will never cross my mind ever again.
he had just fixed up his car and given it a new paint job and he was working 2 jobs to save up to buy a wedding ring so that he could propose to his girlfriend. i couldnt even look at her without bursting into tears, she has been clinging onto his arm and crying for days. i couldnt look at his parents either, they just looked like two of the saddest people on earth, hunched over as if they had both given up on life too.
right now im terrified of transportation vessels and am thinking an entirely hermit like existence wouldnt be too bad. today is a sad sad day. i hope everyone has a safe new years and uses common sense. the whole, it won't happen to me it will happen to someone else theory will never cross my mind ever again.