(no subject)
sometimes you learn the hard way. like through a reality check or an honest mistake. i've never actually felt so low about something after some time has past. i wonder if i'm learning to cope, or if i'm learning to fail. i want excitment and fun and i think part of that makes me fear letting go of things that stay stuck in my chest. i want to think this could be easier and faster, but it's like with each step i take i fall behind without ever viewing anything concrete. does moving on follow moving away? i don't want to be caught up in questions and fears, but i find myself deranging each situation just to know if my feelings stand strong. i love each day but hurt each moment. i guess life feels weird at times i guess this is expected. just stay and leave and be here and be gone, all together at the same time.