No Time Like the Past -Nip/Tuck
Fandom:Nip/Tuck
Pairing: None really though Christian/Julia is mentioned and Christian/Sean is vaguely implied
Rating:FRAO
Warnings: General spoilers for all seasons
Notes: thanks to Felicia for the beta--this one is of course for you. a/u that veers off before the last episode.
No Time Like the Past
It's a cliche, but it's true. His life flashes before his eyes constantly now. All the mistakes--masses of them--so close he can reach out and touch them. They far out number the successes. Julia told him once of a future she dreamed, one no happier in the end than the one they wound up with, but he doesn't believe that, or rather he can't.
He has to think there was another way, that there's a him out there in another universe somewhere that made the good choices--went left instead of right, said no instead of yes, and that it made a difference.
*********
Their latest client claims to be a witch.
"Not that new-agey, incense burning bullshit, the real thing." She says.
According to her, she can't use her power for her own benefit, so she has to use professionals when she wants a little touch up, but she loves the job they do on her and she offers them a gift. Sean laughs it off, in that typically kind way that he has, telling her that payment is thanks enough, he'll take that and a referral to all her friends.
And it's not that Christian believes her, but at this point, what has he got to lose?
"I'm sorry, I can't heal you. That's beyond the scope of my powers." She says.
He won't let himself admit to disappointment--not when he doesn't believe in this anyway. He doesn't even wonder how she knew he was sick, since he looks like shit warmed over more often than not these days.
"I can give you this though," she says. She takes his hands. "One chance. Change your past, change your future."
*********
He watches her slip on her clothes, stretched out on the bed, sated. She was good. He's had better, but he was surprised at how wild she was. Sean's perfect lady. He wonders if she's like that with Sean, then gives a mental shrug. It's a moot point now. Sean will forgive him, he always does. Always will. Christian knows this like he knows his own charms. He wonders if he'll get over it in time for them to use the honeymoon tickets. It would be a shame to waste Fiji and they are good for a year.
The silent tears degenerate into sobs, and Christian rolls his eyes before he gets up, going over to her. Better to play this out like the good guy, for once. He tries to wrap his arms around her but she flinches away. And really it's not that he doesn't like Julia. She's lovely, if a bit of a mouse, kind, smart, perfect doctor's wife. In a different world, she'd be just right and she will be for someone else, but not Sean. "Are you okay?"
"I just can't believe we did this to Sean. "
"We were drunk. It just happened, Sean will understand." He won't, but if she doesn't know that, it's just more proof that she's wrong for Sean.
For the first time since they woke up she meets his eyes, her own filled with fear, and regret. Her nails digging desperately into his arm. "We can't tell him. Please, Christian."
"Julia, I don't think it would be right to lie to him." And he's watched Sean enough to pull off the guilty conscience bit with ease.
"I just. I love him so much. I can't lose him, and if you tell him, we both will. We'll both lose him, Christian, not just me."
"Maybe we both deserve to."
"Please, Christian, please."
Christian knows this is the moment. The moment where he hesitated. He let her sad eyes and the conviction in her voice get to him. He thought about Sean, planning a family, planning a life, thought about the look on his face when he found out, and he flinched. This is the moment that changes everything. It has to be.
All he has to do is stick with the original plan. See it through and count on Sean's love for him. And maybe that's the kicker. He'd always known he loved Sean more than Sean loved him. Sean had other things, other people in his life. back then, Christian just had Sean. He looks at his younger self reflected in Julia's eyes. He's had a whole life with her--twenty years, a child--something that the young him could never imagine. He has Matty and Wilbur and Jenna, Annie and Liz, and this could erase all that.
Change your past, change your future
WWSD? What would Sean do? He's asked himself that for over twenty years. He knows what Sean would do--he'd make the same choice, go back and appreciate the time he has left. He wouldn't sacrifice his family for a chance at a different future. But despite how much he sometimes wishes it, Christian has never been like Sean. He's always done the opposite of what Sean would do and this time is no different.
Change your past, change your future
And it's a chance he can't pass up. He figures he came back to this moment for a reason, and if it's a test,a lesson about appreciating what you have, well, he's never been good at that either. Or maybe it's just that he's never had what he really wanted. And suddenly it's easy to say no, to push her away, to do what the younger him didn't have the balls to follow through on.
He doesn't know what his future will be, but he finds he's willing to take a leap of faith he didn't know he had.
Pairing: None really though Christian/Julia is mentioned and Christian/Sean is vaguely implied
Rating:FRAO
Warnings: General spoilers for all seasons
Notes: thanks to Felicia for the beta--this one is of course for you. a/u that veers off before the last episode.
No Time Like the Past
It's a cliche, but it's true. His life flashes before his eyes constantly now. All the mistakes--masses of them--so close he can reach out and touch them. They far out number the successes. Julia told him once of a future she dreamed, one no happier in the end than the one they wound up with, but he doesn't believe that, or rather he can't.
He has to think there was another way, that there's a him out there in another universe somewhere that made the good choices--went left instead of right, said no instead of yes, and that it made a difference.
*********
Their latest client claims to be a witch.
"Not that new-agey, incense burning bullshit, the real thing." She says.
According to her, she can't use her power for her own benefit, so she has to use professionals when she wants a little touch up, but she loves the job they do on her and she offers them a gift. Sean laughs it off, in that typically kind way that he has, telling her that payment is thanks enough, he'll take that and a referral to all her friends.
And it's not that Christian believes her, but at this point, what has he got to lose?
"I'm sorry, I can't heal you. That's beyond the scope of my powers." She says.
He won't let himself admit to disappointment--not when he doesn't believe in this anyway. He doesn't even wonder how she knew he was sick, since he looks like shit warmed over more often than not these days.
"I can give you this though," she says. She takes his hands. "One chance. Change your past, change your future."
*********
He watches her slip on her clothes, stretched out on the bed, sated. She was good. He's had better, but he was surprised at how wild she was. Sean's perfect lady. He wonders if she's like that with Sean, then gives a mental shrug. It's a moot point now. Sean will forgive him, he always does. Always will. Christian knows this like he knows his own charms. He wonders if he'll get over it in time for them to use the honeymoon tickets. It would be a shame to waste Fiji and they are good for a year.
The silent tears degenerate into sobs, and Christian rolls his eyes before he gets up, going over to her. Better to play this out like the good guy, for once. He tries to wrap his arms around her but she flinches away. And really it's not that he doesn't like Julia. She's lovely, if a bit of a mouse, kind, smart, perfect doctor's wife. In a different world, she'd be just right and she will be for someone else, but not Sean. "Are you okay?"
"I just can't believe we did this to Sean. "
"We were drunk. It just happened, Sean will understand." He won't, but if she doesn't know that, it's just more proof that she's wrong for Sean.
For the first time since they woke up she meets his eyes, her own filled with fear, and regret. Her nails digging desperately into his arm. "We can't tell him. Please, Christian."
"Julia, I don't think it would be right to lie to him." And he's watched Sean enough to pull off the guilty conscience bit with ease.
"I just. I love him so much. I can't lose him, and if you tell him, we both will. We'll both lose him, Christian, not just me."
"Maybe we both deserve to."
"Please, Christian, please."
Christian knows this is the moment. The moment where he hesitated. He let her sad eyes and the conviction in her voice get to him. He thought about Sean, planning a family, planning a life, thought about the look on his face when he found out, and he flinched. This is the moment that changes everything. It has to be.
All he has to do is stick with the original plan. See it through and count on Sean's love for him. And maybe that's the kicker. He'd always known he loved Sean more than Sean loved him. Sean had other things, other people in his life. back then, Christian just had Sean. He looks at his younger self reflected in Julia's eyes. He's had a whole life with her--twenty years, a child--something that the young him could never imagine. He has Matty and Wilbur and Jenna, Annie and Liz, and this could erase all that.
Change your past, change your future
WWSD? What would Sean do? He's asked himself that for over twenty years. He knows what Sean would do--he'd make the same choice, go back and appreciate the time he has left. He wouldn't sacrifice his family for a chance at a different future. But despite how much he sometimes wishes it, Christian has never been like Sean. He's always done the opposite of what Sean would do and this time is no different.
Change your past, change your future
And it's a chance he can't pass up. He figures he came back to this moment for a reason, and if it's a test,a lesson about appreciating what you have, well, he's never been good at that either. Or maybe it's just that he's never had what he really wanted. And suddenly it's easy to say no, to push her away, to do what the younger him didn't have the balls to follow through on.
He doesn't know what his future will be, but he finds he's willing to take a leap of faith he didn't know he had.