Dear Star Trek

[ceares]

while I realize you were going a little more Hogan's Heroes than Stalag 13, it's still the Nazis. In the future please keep the flirting and banter down to a dull roar and for the sake of my own moral center, please, please do not feature Kirk and Spock naked from the waist down enacting a b&d fantasy.

I'm sure you had a salient point to make but... handcuffs, whipping, Spock's treasure trail! Um, I felt like I was making out at Schindler's List.