(no subject)
It just occurred to me this morning that March is almost over. Where did it go?
Time has been slipping by anonymously, with my monotonous schedule. I notice the opposite when traveling: with so much newness to discover, I want to savour every moment consciously with all my presence. Days, then, seem so long and full and interesting. Maybe the challenge is bringing the traveling presence and consciousness to "everyday life"?
In general news, life is good. I’m enjoying my job, making money and helping people in the community. I love that I get to talk to elderly people daily, and my co-workers are all interesting souls. This new Spring weather is inspiring!
Steve and I are enjoying gardening together. I love learning about life and it's cycles, especially how they relate to the cycle of seasons, the cycle of the moon, the cycle of women’s fertility, the cycle of days/nights. As I’ve mentioned before, cycles remind me of the yin-yang balance, and the Tao. Spring is the time of new inspiration, new life, seeds waking up… It’s amazing!
A few days ago I bought a book with a big sunflower on it - “Anastasia” by Vladimir Megre. I just started reading, and feel that it will help me overhaul and re-inspire my idea of how life should/can be. It’s about a woman who lived in complete harmony with Nature in Siberia. I’ve just started, but can already tell it’s an amazing piece of knowledge.
Music is on my mind, especially the musician’s ego. It’s something I feel that I have to overcome in order to share music in an unobstructed, clear way.
I’ve been to many concerts in the past where I could sense that the musician onstage was enjoying the sense of specialness - of being admired, being adored, being listened to, being idolized - more than being in the flow of Music. I have enjoyed this self-endowed feeling of specialness too; it’s so hard to resist when it feels so good and gives the ego the sense of self-worth that it craves.
However, a musician is only a channel for Music to flow through. The ego develops a sense of superiority because it assumes that it is the creator of the Music. I’m learning that the more you are able to let go - of your mind, of your ego, of your pride - the more you will be able to connect and let flow. It seems that some of the great musicians of our time used consciousness-altering substances to help them let go - though I don’t think it’s necessary.
The musician is just as much an instrument for Music as their instrument is. Likewise, I am an instrument for Life to live through. The more I can let go of my sense of control (which is an illusion), the more I can live in flowy, powerful, divine harmony with Life.
Namaste!