inspiration
my mom let me read this composition my sister wrote in english class the other day. my sister told my mom not to let me read it, but my mom did anyways today after school. my sister wrote i was her inspiration and how she always looks up to me. whoa. as i read i tried to hold back tears. it was seriously about the sweetest thing i've read in a while. if anything my sister should be my inspiration. she's always so cheerful and free-spirited. she is everything that could be described as an individual. she has a mind of her own, and morals and values she'll never sell out. i just thought it was so sweet.
break.
matt was driving me home last night when we came to the overpass of I85. i gazed out the window at the blurs of tail-lights and headlights. it was so busy. i saw myself standing in the median. sometimes that's how i feel. like the world is so busy around me and i'm so passive. i don't want to lose track of time. i want to soak everything up. i want to be freed; not tied to the rituals of 'everyday life.'
break.
matt got that new job. tonight's his first night. i've been so spoiled on seeing him everyday that now it's extremely hard to be without him. i know he needs this and that this is such a great opportunity for him. i wish sometimes i wasn't so selfish. i know he only wants what's best for me, us.
break.
i've had an ephiphony. and i probably spelt that wrong. anyways. i really don't like too many people at my school. i mean, once the people i would call my friends are annoying and immature. it's just like one day i went to school and felt like i was in a freak show at the circus. to think i was ever apart of that makes me sick. i'm not trying to say i dislike any of them or that i think i am better than anyone, i just am astonished at how much things have changed. i figure it doesnt matter anyways since no one is really going to attend the same college as me so i'll have to make new friends anyways.
break.
i feel like i have a lot to say, but not enough vocabulary or concentration to say it. i have a job interveiw tomorrow. it's my first one. i'm pretty excited. i'm leaving now to go watch soccer. it's so weird making plans that dont involve matt. i guess it's good though that i can handle things on my own. i love soccer. it's like my new favorite sport.
peace.
break.
matt was driving me home last night when we came to the overpass of I85. i gazed out the window at the blurs of tail-lights and headlights. it was so busy. i saw myself standing in the median. sometimes that's how i feel. like the world is so busy around me and i'm so passive. i don't want to lose track of time. i want to soak everything up. i want to be freed; not tied to the rituals of 'everyday life.'
break.
matt got that new job. tonight's his first night. i've been so spoiled on seeing him everyday that now it's extremely hard to be without him. i know he needs this and that this is such a great opportunity for him. i wish sometimes i wasn't so selfish. i know he only wants what's best for me, us.
break.
i've had an ephiphony. and i probably spelt that wrong. anyways. i really don't like too many people at my school. i mean, once the people i would call my friends are annoying and immature. it's just like one day i went to school and felt like i was in a freak show at the circus. to think i was ever apart of that makes me sick. i'm not trying to say i dislike any of them or that i think i am better than anyone, i just am astonished at how much things have changed. i figure it doesnt matter anyways since no one is really going to attend the same college as me so i'll have to make new friends anyways.
break.
i feel like i have a lot to say, but not enough vocabulary or concentration to say it. i have a job interveiw tomorrow. it's my first one. i'm pretty excited. i'm leaving now to go watch soccer. it's so weird making plans that dont involve matt. i guess it's good though that i can handle things on my own. i love soccer. it's like my new favorite sport.
peace.