(no subject)
Alright! I figured out how this is going to work. I figure no one gives a rat-monkey's-ass (where did that come from?) when I get all happy/depressed and philosophical. So emails will be for 3-5 in the morning when I'm just slap-happy, and this journal will be for 2-3 in the morning when I'm all mellow and deep. Anyway, that's good because right now it's just about 2, and I'm mellow and deep, so here goes! I haven't been too happy so far here. I mean, I love McGill, I couldn't ask to be in a better position. McGill is one of the top schools in North America, and here I am. The thing that I'm not too happy with is that if someone took away my IM, I would suddenly be cut down to Karel and statics bitch. And that would be really sad! So I've made up my mind to ask my lab partner (the one that's hot for me) to go to a movie next weekend. Not a date or anything, I'm still very happy with Lindsay. Just to get out of here and do something. I'm sure that seems pretty trivial. Ooh what a breakthrough. Kevin's going to go do something! What a brilliant idea! But I'm just laying here in bed, looking out the window at the snow melting down off the upper balconies and thinking about what's going on. I'm here, in Montreal, on my own. I'm not in high school anymore. This is the beginning of real life, and if I don't get my ass out of my apartment and start doing something, I'll be on my ass, in my apartment, doing nothing, for at least three more years. I'm very attached to the friends I've got, but I need to make myself realize that my highschool and gradeschool friends will be forever, primarily, my past. I can't just live online talking to them as if we're still all together. I mean, everyone's moving on, but I'm not. I get along with Daphne just fine, so why the hell not? I don't get the impression that she's got billions of friends here. Granted she's probably doing better than I am, but she's quiet and all and that's the sort of person I'm good with. This is when I can go do stuff with people that don't know what I freak I used to be. As far as Daphne knows, I'm just wonderful. I didn't eat sand at my eighth grade graduation. I didn't have tongue wars with my girlfriend in a science room. I didn't have a leash around my balls, for that matter. And so far she doesn't even realize that I spend the majority of my time sitting on my bed living in the past. I know this is a very small step for mankind, but it's a pretty huge leap for me. So I've made up my mind, now I just have to sprout some guts and ask her to do something with me. I can do it! I'm thumbody! Ahem. Okay, go to bed.