(no subject)
Oh lordie livejournal password is as I remembered now its time to blog the shit out of this hoe with the over use of punctuation and slang words. So I was riding my "bike" yestermorn and I came across a young lad. He informed me, as if I hadn't known, that I wasn't wearing my helm. I said to this young'n that I can't wear it for it is in da shoppe getting horns fixed on its top and fire marks on its side, I then began to make horns on my skull and making the sound of fire. He then informs me of my "stupidity" in coming into his territory! I was stunned and confused at the turn in mannerism of this boy from stupid little kid to mean territorial bully. He attempted the wedgie on me, a "man" at least twice his size, to no avail as I was not sporting any undies. I smiled and thanked him for scratching my ass and proceeded to slap him across the face. As I was staring down at my enemy I caught, out of the corner of my eye, a posse so to speak running to his aid. A posse to grind my gizzard and prove who owns the streets outside our houses. I, the lone warrior and new guy on the block, wasn't about to give in to these lil demons. (thats what they called themselves the 'LIL DEMONS') They surrounded me which is what I expected and it seemed what was a lopsided fight is now even. I thought to myself how I wish I had my horn and fire helmet as that might have given me a psychological advantage in the situation. Nonetheless I prepared myself for the battle ahead and right before they closed in a car came down the street, we had to move to the side to let it through but then we were right back in the middle of the street ready to brawl for the rights of the road. They inched their ways towards me and I held out my palm flat, ready to begin my patented rotating bitch slap. Those lil demons ducked it all except the last one who looked surprisingly stunned that I slapped him in the face, game over for him. Everyone else however began to mercilously kick me int he shins, a pain which I pray none other shall bear. Needless to say I was able to "bop" a few on the head but in the end the left me lying on the ground holding my lower legs. I crawled home and began to heal so the next time maybe the gods will bless me with the means to win against those damn 5 year olds, maybe in the form of shinpads. Im sorry for wasting your time if you read this.