wow...it has been a long time

[cdjaw]

damn i havent updated for like two weeks. i dont know what is wrong with me. i think i am going to stop drinking so much. my abuse of alcohol every single weekend is really getting old. that is all my life is becoming. i try to stay afloat through the week with the hopes of making it to the weekend. when the weekend arrives i am even less productive than i am during the week. i pretty much have no motivation to do anything right now. its pretty much guaranteed that on friday and saturday nights i will be drunk. i dont like that. i need to slow this down now before it gets out of hand. i dont know why but i pretty much hate my life right now. i dont know why. actually i hate it because its not worth anything. i dont do anything. and i should fix that, because once i can fix that problem i wont feel so shitty about myself. i cant wait to go home and see my family. maybe seeing them will help motivate me and help me find myself again. i dont what to say, i dont know why im so depressed

on a more positive note, i have been coming up with some pretty interesting songs on my guitar. they sound a lot like minus the bear which is awesome. they are my favorite band and i love the guitar playing in all of their songs. hopefully i am able to develop them into decent songs.