TSA puts the Cop in Copping a Feel
I got two people coming in at Newark Airport from outside the country in the next few days.
I don't quite know how to forewarn them that their T&A is going to get TSA'd at customs. Honestly, aside from the long-term effects of unprotected X-rays on one's body organs (there will be class-action lawsuits, trust me on this), is it really that bad that your naked body is revealed? I'm not the person to ask since I once made a living going on stage naked for the most part. I have played at NYC's CBGB's, CBGB Gallery, Brownie's, and the Mercury Lounge without a stitch, save a strategically-placed Spam can, or a bundle of grapes.
It was a very small bundle.
Seedless.
So being naked has no meaning or social trauma to me.
Of course, being pat down is another thing altogether. I know I know. We all like to envision Don Draper with his big hairy arms groping our fragile bodies at the security checkpoint. But the reality is, it's probably going to turn out to be Precious. And our buttocks is going to waft greasy blackened fried chicken* for the rest of the day.
(*geographically accurate, as Newark Airport is across the highway from the State's best blackened Chicken restaurant in Elizabeth, where many people go takeout during lunch on a workday)