2003

[cd1379]

Well, I'm back from ski camp and Shanty Creek. The new year celebration at my aunt and uncle's cottage was rockin, with Dick Clark to lead the party. Back at the homefront everyone was partying, too. I leave for a few days, come home, and I can't believe all the bullshit that I find. I guess I'm not surprised... I'm just surprised that it

Comments

[nikdagreat]

oh goodness i'm sorry chris for worrying about you and trying to be, you know, a friend. honestly what on earth IS my problem? apparently all i do is lecture instead of help and you have a thousand apologies. but seeing that i don't have to worry about being a friend, i can tell you exactly what i fucking think. i'm sorry that i don't live in your fucking little idealogical world, but hey guess what? NO ONE DOES BUT YOU. it doesn't fucking exsist. maybe if you try listening to other view points, you wouldn't be so fucking stressed out and anal all the time. oh and i'm sorry my "lecture" isn't sugar-coated for you, but i as of this moment don't really fucking care about your feelings. i know you are upset, but that is no fucking excuse to be such a jackass to me b/c I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! all i have to say is that next time you have trouble, i'll have to remember instead of trying to help you just to go and drown myself instead, rendben? i'm sick of your pity party bull shit anyway. woe betide you to take a problem and instead of sticking to your stuborn ass side of it actually look at the other side. we can talk if you ever fucking grow up.

thank you.

[cd1379]

Aww, thanks for caring. "If I ever grow up, then we can talk." Take a long hard look at that statement. You don't even realize why I am upset. But, I guess you know it all. I guess I am the bad guy here because I'm not conforming to all the bullshit around me. You're no saint.

I just don't understand. But, it seems like you've got it aaaalll figured out. You can't begin to imagine how I feel about things right now, so don't act like you can.

Re: thank you.

[nikdagreat]

i suppose i should explain that statement better. what i meant by it is that maybe when you can deal with your anger on a rational level instead of lashing out at people who are trying to help you, we can talk. quite frankly, i could care less what is going on between you and kayti b/c that is none of my business. of course i was worried about you both individually, but what went down between you two did not concern me. i just tried to help when you needed it. and how dare you try to label me the "queen of advice" when i seem to remember countless occasions when you came to me for it. don't you even try to make it out like i interfered on my own free will. the only times i ever interferred on my own is when i was worried about you or kayti. i see now that when you asked for my advice i should have just said, "i don't know" instead of going into one of my aforesaid lectures. oh and when's the last time i came to you and said, hey chris, i'm fucking mother theresa i'm perfect look at me look at me? never. so next time you claim something about me, maybe you should fucking back it up with some hard evidence instead of sarcasm. this isn't even the issue here of why i'm upset. what i was upset about is the way you acted towards me on the phone and in your little lj entry. you had no right to berate me that way on the phone or post your little comment about me on your lj. all you needed to say was nikki, i don't really feel like talking about it right now and i'd have understood and let you be. but you had to take it to the next level and offend me by saying "not with you" and posting your fucking fecicious comment. if that's really how you felt about my advice, how about you fucking stop asking me for it then? i don't need the stress from trying to play peacemaker and i wash my hands of it. i tried to hear both sides, but when you won't tell me yours and then insult me for trying to find it out, i have no choice but then just to go on the information i get. i'm not pretending i have it all figured out b/c nothing's farther from the truth, but it's kind of hard for me to figure it out when you won't even fucking tell me your side, now isn't it? i'm not acting like i understand your feelings b/c to be quite honest i have no idea. however, i really don't care anymore. if this is how you're going to treat me after i try to help, then it seems to me that you never really valued my opinions or our friendship anyway. i'm not going to start a fucking lj war about this b/c i think it's extremely childish, so this is going to be my last comment. i still want to be friends but if you do as well you're going to have to come to me b/c as of right now i'm officially taking a back seat in this. i'm sorry that this had to turn out this way, but i'm seriously offended by this and i thought that you should know it.

Re: thank you.

[cd1379]

I was worried about the stuff that went down 2 nights ago for a long time before this. Everyone told me that it would be ok, and to not worry about it. Well, guess what? Everything I was afraid of happening did happen. It's not just one certain thing. Events that happened a long time before this involving other people are also a part of this. What did you tell me before I left? Think back to what you said, then remember what happened these past 2 or 3 days. Think long and hard, and then maybe you can begin to understand my position. You tried to play peacemaker, alright. It's pretty ironic that you should say that.

[cd1379]

The reason for me acting like this towards you has everything to do with my relationship. Being let down by everything and everyone around me made me feel bad enough... the fact that you knew everything a week ago during our "talk" and then calling me that night was beyond my belief. I don't understand some things, and this is one of those things. The suspicions you had were valid only under the conditions of that night. That's pretty ironic, too. It was obviously out of my hands.

[nikdagreat]

i just absolutely adore how you equate "knowing everything" with "suspecting things." maybe it's just me, but i like to have my facts straight before i go throwing accusations around. oh and since this whole situation is just chock full of irony, let's look at how you think of me as being the two-faced peacemaker, but turn around and claim that you feel bad about this, causing kayti to ask me to not be mad at you b/c you are ever so sorry, and then write that comment. hold on, let me go get a box to put all this fucking irony in. no matter how mad you are at me, i still hope you're alright after tonight. but i'm done chris. i'm tired and i'm stressed and i'm done.