Under the Weather
Just had the best dinner ever with my daughter. Instead of stressing out about getting her to finish her food (I was done, E had long ago headed off to the bedroom to do his work) I put on some music and did my geeky mom dancing and horrible singing. She joined in as best she could (and even tried to keep up with Letterbox by TMBG!) and copied all of my dance moves and clapping.
Pure joy.
Other than that the last five days have been filled with ****anxiety**** and a slight illness which kept me up for hours every night. No matter how tired I was, when I laid down to sleep I felt wide awake. I am used to dealing with my stresses and bouts of depression, that feeling that I am underwater, but this was new and very distressing.
I think I've sorted the problem out, though, thanks to deep breathing and cutting down on the caffeine. The last two nights I managed a decent sleep. I am rewarding myself with a glass of wine tonight, I think.
The Pogues are helping me sort out my head at the moment - and later I will put on the Star Trek and try some art, then off to bed for a few minutes of Wallace Stevens:
Disillusionment of Ten O'clock
The houses are haunted
By white night-gowns.
None are green,
Or purple with green rings,
Or green with yellow rings,
Or yellow with blue rings.
None of them are strange,
With socks of lace
And beaded ceintures.
People are not going
To dream of baboons and periwinkles.
Only, here and there, an old sailor,
Drunk and asleep in his boots,
Catches tigers
In red weather.
Pure joy.
Other than that the last five days have been filled with ****anxiety**** and a slight illness which kept me up for hours every night. No matter how tired I was, when I laid down to sleep I felt wide awake. I am used to dealing with my stresses and bouts of depression, that feeling that I am underwater, but this was new and very distressing.
I think I've sorted the problem out, though, thanks to deep breathing and cutting down on the caffeine. The last two nights I managed a decent sleep. I am rewarding myself with a glass of wine tonight, I think.
The Pogues are helping me sort out my head at the moment - and later I will put on the Star Trek and try some art, then off to bed for a few minutes of Wallace Stevens:
Disillusionment of Ten O'clock
The houses are haunted
By white night-gowns.
None are green,
Or purple with green rings,
Or green with yellow rings,
Or yellow with blue rings.
None of them are strange,
With socks of lace
And beaded ceintures.
People are not going
To dream of baboons and periwinkles.
Only, here and there, an old sailor,
Drunk and asleep in his boots,
Catches tigers
In red weather.