Beneficence
The job hell has finally left me insane. I can’t stand one more fucking Christmas watching everyone else happy, assured, comfortable in material terms. Can not STAND IT. Who wants to be the guy who can’t join in, doesn’t dare speak (“you ruined everyone’s Christmas!”), desperate for any cause for hope, but there’s nothing keeping him company in his mind but refusals, dodges, indifference to his face? I’m become without shame. I will do absolutely anything I have to, force good news for 2019 into my hands. I’m so sick of shame. It way too easily becomes hatred of the indifferent, the convenient, the ‘I don’t feel comfortable squandering my political capital’ rot, so force good news it has to be.