thoughts on review
So, I got my yearly review today.
They do reviews odd where I work...but I came out pretty good. That wasn't really a concern. My actual focus was on where I needed to improve, and on career pathing. I'm not feeling challenged anymore, and that's not good.
I was given a couple things to work on. And I agree, they need work.
#1: focus on who I want to be. There was a long talk about how I portray myself. I've got a bad tendency to open my mouth without thinking. It was pointed out to me that what I chat about to the managers, and how I do it, and when, is all stuff that impacts how they view me. Very true. My manager challenged me to "think about the goal of each conversation." IE: What is my goal in telling someone this? How does it fit my long term goals? It's an interesting study. I guess I've always known that it's something that mattered, I just never really thought about it. It's a good thing to focus on though.
Along with that goes my emotional state, in specific. As he puts it, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I think I get what he's saying...that when I'm upset, the people around me KNOW. When I'm mad, my coworkers can see it. I generally consider being open a good thing, but I can see his point. It's about balance. I don't want to be a robot - and they don't want me to be either. But I agree that I could manage my responses better. And not having it be readily obvious when I'm having a bad day would be a good thing.
So how? Well, to start with, just trying to remember to breathe will help, I think. to pause before I respond, and THINK. I'm not very good at thinking ahead - I never HAVE been - so that's going to need work. I intend to take time several times a week to consider the last few days and find things I should have handled differently, and contemplate how I SHOULD have handled them. I think, over time, my brain will kick in and put the thinking BEFORE the action. That's the hope.
Part of the way I'm handling this, is picking up my LJ again. I find that writing things out helps me sort my own thoughts...I seem to have trouble doing it without something to help focus. And many of my coworkers (and management team!) are on my facebook. I contemplated them seeing this and realized that seeing my struggle doesn't really serve a purpose, for the most part. So I'm taking my thoughts elsewhere. Plus, I don't like the idea of them being available for anyone who can lookup and see where I work, that I may not know as well as I'd like.
#2 was leadership. That's hard for me - It often seems I've spent my life getting really good at AVOIDING leadership. But he says other people on the floor look to me, and he wants to see me become more of a leader. How on earth do you do THAT? I'm not really sure, to be honest. This is where I get lost. I feel totally out of my element...but I'll try my damnedest.
I think the first thing I need to do is be more open about talking to people - just saying hi. that'll probably help. I'm already a fairly good resource on the floor, technically. If I can control the emotional responses better, maybe the rest will fall in place? I also plan on contributing more to the knowledgebase. That will show I'm sharing info...right? Being more cheerful so I come across as more approachble, too
It's a start, at least.
--
The other thing we talked about was career pathing. He let me know of several opportunities coming up. I need to take time to actually redo my resume - and prep it for EACH of those opportunities seperately. He also recommended I ask to speak with the people in charge of said hiring decisions BEFORE they open up and see what they're looking for. And he suggested, if I don't get something, to speak with them and ask what I can work on. *grin* then reminded me to calm down FIRST.
We also discussed technical options. I've been updating my HTML knowledge and working on teaching myself CSS. I'm looking at getting certified, so we talked a bit about how we can get my employer involved.
I can do this. I'm sure of it. It's just a stretch for me. And hey, that's what I wanted, right? My manager did an awesome job of giving me just what I needed in my review. You don't get better than that.
...now, I'm going to go be scared for a bit about this challenge. That way I can get over it and be cheerful tommorrow!
They do reviews odd where I work...but I came out pretty good. That wasn't really a concern. My actual focus was on where I needed to improve, and on career pathing. I'm not feeling challenged anymore, and that's not good.
I was given a couple things to work on. And I agree, they need work.
#1: focus on who I want to be. There was a long talk about how I portray myself. I've got a bad tendency to open my mouth without thinking. It was pointed out to me that what I chat about to the managers, and how I do it, and when, is all stuff that impacts how they view me. Very true. My manager challenged me to "think about the goal of each conversation." IE: What is my goal in telling someone this? How does it fit my long term goals? It's an interesting study. I guess I've always known that it's something that mattered, I just never really thought about it. It's a good thing to focus on though.
Along with that goes my emotional state, in specific. As he puts it, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I think I get what he's saying...that when I'm upset, the people around me KNOW. When I'm mad, my coworkers can see it. I generally consider being open a good thing, but I can see his point. It's about balance. I don't want to be a robot - and they don't want me to be either. But I agree that I could manage my responses better. And not having it be readily obvious when I'm having a bad day would be a good thing.
So how? Well, to start with, just trying to remember to breathe will help, I think. to pause before I respond, and THINK. I'm not very good at thinking ahead - I never HAVE been - so that's going to need work. I intend to take time several times a week to consider the last few days and find things I should have handled differently, and contemplate how I SHOULD have handled them. I think, over time, my brain will kick in and put the thinking BEFORE the action. That's the hope.
Part of the way I'm handling this, is picking up my LJ again. I find that writing things out helps me sort my own thoughts...I seem to have trouble doing it without something to help focus. And many of my coworkers (and management team!) are on my facebook. I contemplated them seeing this and realized that seeing my struggle doesn't really serve a purpose, for the most part. So I'm taking my thoughts elsewhere. Plus, I don't like the idea of them being available for anyone who can lookup and see where I work, that I may not know as well as I'd like.
#2 was leadership. That's hard for me - It often seems I've spent my life getting really good at AVOIDING leadership. But he says other people on the floor look to me, and he wants to see me become more of a leader. How on earth do you do THAT? I'm not really sure, to be honest. This is where I get lost. I feel totally out of my element...but I'll try my damnedest.
I think the first thing I need to do is be more open about talking to people - just saying hi. that'll probably help. I'm already a fairly good resource on the floor, technically. If I can control the emotional responses better, maybe the rest will fall in place? I also plan on contributing more to the knowledgebase. That will show I'm sharing info...right? Being more cheerful so I come across as more approachble, too
It's a start, at least.
--
The other thing we talked about was career pathing. He let me know of several opportunities coming up. I need to take time to actually redo my resume - and prep it for EACH of those opportunities seperately. He also recommended I ask to speak with the people in charge of said hiring decisions BEFORE they open up and see what they're looking for. And he suggested, if I don't get something, to speak with them and ask what I can work on. *grin* then reminded me to calm down FIRST.
We also discussed technical options. I've been updating my HTML knowledge and working on teaching myself CSS. I'm looking at getting certified, so we talked a bit about how we can get my employer involved.
I can do this. I'm sure of it. It's just a stretch for me. And hey, that's what I wanted, right? My manager did an awesome job of giving me just what I needed in my review. You don't get better than that.
...now, I'm going to go be scared for a bit about this challenge. That way I can get over it and be cheerful tommorrow!