When shit hits the fan....Watch out!
Way too many things have been happening lately that keep reminding me of things... I can't get over it and I really wish I could because I hate feeling this way. You get to a point in your life when nothing is going right and it doesnt seem like it is going to get any better no matter what you do. I am seriously debating whether or not I want to change my major because I really don't know how I will ever be able to handle all of this stuff all the time. It blows and I have no idea what the hell I am doing. I'm giving it to the end of the semester and by then I will know if I really want to drop it and start over again. That's another thing...I want to get away from here so that I can start over. I feel like I need to meet different people who dont know me. Don't get me wrong I love the people that I have met and the ones that I get to spend my time with, but there is something that seems to be missing. I need to get away and start somewhere new. I feel like I have screwed so many things up that nothing could possibly go back to the way that it used to be...the way it was when I was happy with who I was and where I was in my life. I feel like a complete loser and that I am getting nowhere fast and messing everything up along the way. I don't know that I can tell some people how I feel anymore because I am afraid of what they will say, if they will even choose to speak to me at all. I shouldn't have to worry about that, but I do. It's not fair...but then again life's not fair is it? No, it sure as hell isnt! Well, I have a speech to give on monday and a crapload of online work to do for chemistry....but I'm not doing that tonight..it can wait...I am heading up to Empress to meet Deron, and hopefully do something with him, Ricky, and Kelley when Kelley gets off of work. So peace out all...sorry about my rambling there will surely be more to come...Love ya's!!