Ever Wondered
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
Who was he first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there..I'm gonna to eat the next thing that comes outa its arse..!!"
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but dont point to their arse when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does the Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?? They're both dogs!!
Why Donald doesnt wear pants, (but when he gets out the bath , he always wraps a towel around his waist?)
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
What Baby oil is made from?
Why do they call it an "asteroid" when it's outside the hemisphere, but they call it a "haemmorhoid" then its on the outside of your ass?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Did you ever notice "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "The Alphabet Song" have the same tune?
Now, stop singing baby songs and do something productive..