The Tourist
Two weekends a month, raecarson and I go out on a date. Since we like caper movies, find Angela Jolie's choice of strong women characters interesting, and usually enjoy Johnny Depp's over-the-top performances, we went to see "The Tourist."
I don't know what we were thinking. I wish someone would explain to me how you can put Jolie, Depp, Paul Bettany, and Timothy Dalton in a movie and not bother to write one memorable or interesting part. Or why you would set up so many great potential character motivations and moments, then ignore them. Chekov's mantlepiece is simply choked with unfired guns. Perhaps they all fell through the gaping plot holes. This movie has the dullest low-speed chase scene since OJ Simpson jumped in a white Ford Bronco and headed toward Mexico. And I've seen more convincing green screens done by local weathermen. But the worst part is that it's a caper movie with all the twists of a parallelogram. If you don't see the end coming, it's only because you've been lulled to sleep by Depp's invariable and inexplicably drowsy delivery of his lines. That and the fact that the editing seemed determined to keep the audience away from the dangerous edge of their seats. And the musical score that did everything it could to defuse mounting tension, as if the composer was worried that somebody's pulse might actually race. Maybe the director was worried about liability issues. I dunno. I've read other reviews where people contended that the movie was intended to be a farce. If that's the case I was fooled by the absence of any humor. Apart from the unintentional laughs.
If I sound bitter, it's because I really really wanted to love this movie. But I would have settled for simply liking it. In a world of scarce resources it should be criminal to take this much acting talent, these beautiful locations, this possibility-laden premise... and then poop on it like Triumph the insult dog.
The best thing about this movie was raecarson's company. At least I can always count on her to be intelligent and entertaining. Apart from that, going to see "The Tourist" is one trip I will never make again and strongly recommend against.
I don't know what we were thinking. I wish someone would explain to me how you can put Jolie, Depp, Paul Bettany, and Timothy Dalton in a movie and not bother to write one memorable or interesting part. Or why you would set up so many great potential character motivations and moments, then ignore them. Chekov's mantlepiece is simply choked with unfired guns. Perhaps they all fell through the gaping plot holes. This movie has the dullest low-speed chase scene since OJ Simpson jumped in a white Ford Bronco and headed toward Mexico. And I've seen more convincing green screens done by local weathermen. But the worst part is that it's a caper movie with all the twists of a parallelogram. If you don't see the end coming, it's only because you've been lulled to sleep by Depp's invariable and inexplicably drowsy delivery of his lines. That and the fact that the editing seemed determined to keep the audience away from the dangerous edge of their seats. And the musical score that did everything it could to defuse mounting tension, as if the composer was worried that somebody's pulse might actually race. Maybe the director was worried about liability issues. I dunno. I've read other reviews where people contended that the movie was intended to be a farce. If that's the case I was fooled by the absence of any humor. Apart from the unintentional laughs.
If I sound bitter, it's because I really really wanted to love this movie. But I would have settled for simply liking it. In a world of scarce resources it should be criminal to take this much acting talent, these beautiful locations, this possibility-laden premise... and then poop on it like Triumph the insult dog.
The best thing about this movie was raecarson's company. At least I can always count on her to be intelligent and entertaining. Apart from that, going to see "The Tourist" is one trip I will never make again and strongly recommend against.