dream//journal: Enough!
Enough! I got the message!!
You can stop showing up in my dreams, you know. Every single time, you run away. You could love me, but you won't stay with me. And I won't blame you for it, ever, no matter how many times the dreams repeat it to me.
Maybe my mind is telling me what I need to hear, maybe I've developed a taste for reliving the moment.
Last night in my dream we walked together, to meet your friends. Under the trees and on the sidewalk I cried and cried the whole way, as I talked about how I understood we wouldn't be, about how the choice you made was the only choice for us. And from you I felt the bubbling, boiling silence- all the things that you don't say, and I understood it too.
That you could love me, but you choose not to. And it bothered me as much as it always does. You don't have to say it again.
You can stop showing up in my dreams, you know. Every single time, you run away. You could love me, but you won't stay with me. And I won't blame you for it, ever, no matter how many times the dreams repeat it to me.
Maybe my mind is telling me what I need to hear, maybe I've developed a taste for reliving the moment.
Last night in my dream we walked together, to meet your friends. Under the trees and on the sidewalk I cried and cried the whole way, as I talked about how I understood we wouldn't be, about how the choice you made was the only choice for us. And from you I felt the bubbling, boiling silence- all the things that you don't say, and I understood it too.
That you could love me, but you choose not to. And it bothered me as much as it always does. You don't have to say it again.