I should turn 40 more often!
You guys - I'm turning 40 this week. Apparently I'm supposed to be freaking out about this, but I'm not. At least - not yet. Who knows, maybe I'll wake up Thursday morning in full midlife crisis mode. But this milestone has been impacting my life in an unexpected way.
I got an email coupon for half off a manicure and pedicure at a local salon. I almost never get manicures (I always manage to chip the polish before I even make it out of the salon) and I get pedicures only occasionally, but at half off I was giving this some serious thought. And while I was debating I looked down at my fingernails and saw how mangled they were and figured what the heck, I'll go for it. "After all", I told myself, "I don't want to turn 40 with raggedy cuticles, right?" So I got my half price mani/pedi on Thursday and am all set to turn 40 with grown-up looking fingernails and properly exfoliated feet.
Then I was looking in the mirror and noticing that I hadn't had a haircut for a while. "Hmm. I guess I don't want to turn 40 with split ends. Hahaha." So I'm getting a haircut tomorrow.
Then I looked at myself more closely in the mirror and realized my face was in rather desperate need of a good exfoliation. I briefly considered getting a facial, but they are expensive and I didn't have any half-off deals, so instead I went to CVS and found myself some super-duper exfoliation brew that was on sale. "Lord knows I can't turn 40 with clogged pores! HAHAHA!!!!"
This whole "I can't turn forty with...." thing was starting to take on a rather manic tone in my head. And now I'm applying it to all sorts of things. I made an appointment with my chiropractor, because lord know I don't want to turn 40 with a vertebral subluxation! I've been diligent about taking my vitamins because I will NOT turn 40 with iron-deficient blood! I did all the laundry I could find because I refuse to turn 40 with a hamper full of dirty clothes!!! I just got done mopping my kitchen floor, because as god as my witness, I WILL NOT turn 40 with a messy kitchen!!!!!
At first I was happy about this - who knew turning 40 would be so productive? But I'm starting to worry about where it will all end. But right now I have to go clean out my refrigerator, because there is no way I can turn 40 with god-only-knows-what moldering away at the back of the bottom shelf.
(Also, just for the record, my manicure is ruined. My toes still look great though!)