Happy Imbolg!

[cc_amy]

This Imbolg has been very meaningful for me.  This year has gotten off to a rough start from a spiritual perspective - lots of tension, lots of questioning, and not feeling a lot of reassurance from the God and Goddess.  Usually I can feel their presence in my everyday life, sometimes through people I meet, sometimes through nature, sometimes through meditation, sometimes through ritual.  But this month, when I needed them the most, for some reason I couldn't seem to find them.  I'd do ritual and feel more centered, but not as if I'd interacted with the Divine.  I'd meditate and feel calmer, but not as if the Goddess had spoken to me.  I'd walk outside and see the beauty of nature, but not feel that spiritual connection I was looking for.  I wondered if they'd abandoned me.  I wondered if I was shutting them out somehow without even realizing it.  I wondered if I was doing something wrong.

I went to an Imbolg ritual on Friday, hoping that the Goddess would speak to me, maybe tell me what I've been doing wrong.  Well, I haven't been doing anything wrong.  And the God and Goddess have not abandoned me - they're right where they've always been.  I just couldn't see them for a while.  And that's a natural part of the cycles of life.  As we gathered on Friday to celebrate the return on the light and the coming of spring, I realized that I had been going through my own period of spiritual darkness, and I am now coming back out of it.  Just like the darkness of winter is unavoidable, so are these periods of spiritual darkness - there is no way to avoid them.  And just like winter will eventually pass, perhaps slower than we'd like, these personal periods of darkness will pass, but they cannot be hurried.  All I can do is hang on until they lift, and do my best to learn from them.  Secrets are revealed in the darkness.  Truths are revealed in the darkness.  It's better for me to face them now than to ignore them and only have to face them later.

I've been listening to this Tom Waits song quite a bit; I think it's perfect for Imbolg:

You Can Never Hold Back Spring

You can never hold back spring
You can be sure I will never stop believing
The blushing rose, it will climb
Spring ahead or fall behind
Winter dreams the same dream, every time

Baby you can never hold back spring
Even though you've lost your way
The world is dreaming, dreaming of spring

So close your eyes
Open your heart
To the one who's dreaming of you
And you can never hold back spring
Remember everything that spring can bring
Baby you can never hold back spring
Baby you can never hold back spring