Worst. Song. EVER.
Today at work I was stuck on hold with our travel department for a ridiculously long time. Usually I'm pretty good about tuning out crappy hold music, but after a few typically bad songs, they started playing quite possibly the worst song I've ever heard. And it was looooooong. It just kept going on and on. I almost had to hang up twice because I just couldn't take it anymore, but I made it through. Because there was one very distinctive (and disturbing) line that I just couldn't get out of my head, I decided to look up the lyrics and see what exactly this abomination was. The song is called "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" and it's by Bryan Adams. I was shocked to discover that not only was it a number one hit, but Bryan Adams actually received an Oscar nomination for this song! (It was featured in the film "Don Juan DeMarco")
I'm telling you all this so that you can be prepared if you ever come across this song. Do not be fooled if you hear it introduced as an "Oscar-nominated song", or a "number one hit". I cannot advise you strongly enough that if you ever hear this song, you should run like hell in the other direction. If you're trapped, I suggest clapping your hands over your ears and yelling "LALALACAN'THEARYOULALALA" until the song is over. As if being forced to listen to the whole damn song wasn't bad enough, I had the annoying refrain stuck in my head for the rest of the day. I was going around humming "Have you really ever/Really really ever loved a woman.....OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!!" I won't be cruel enough to post the entire lyrics of the song, but I do feel compelled to share with you the creepiest verse of all:
You've got to breathe her, really taste her,
Till you can feel her in your blood.
And when you see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman.
Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted cynic with no romantic side whatsoever, but EW EW EW!!!!!! If a man ever told me that he saw his unborn children in my eyes, I'd be out the door faster than you could say "restraining order". EW.
On my way home from work I was listening to Kids Corner on the radio and they played The Cheese Song, so now I have
Cheese, cheese, cheese
Wonderful cheese
Bees don't like cheese
But I love cheese
stuck in my head instead. It's a HUGE improvement.
I'm telling you all this so that you can be prepared if you ever come across this song. Do not be fooled if you hear it introduced as an "Oscar-nominated song", or a "number one hit". I cannot advise you strongly enough that if you ever hear this song, you should run like hell in the other direction. If you're trapped, I suggest clapping your hands over your ears and yelling "LALALACAN'THEARYOULALALA" until the song is over. As if being forced to listen to the whole damn song wasn't bad enough, I had the annoying refrain stuck in my head for the rest of the day. I was going around humming "Have you really ever/Really really ever loved a woman.....OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!!" I won't be cruel enough to post the entire lyrics of the song, but I do feel compelled to share with you the creepiest verse of all:
You've got to breathe her, really taste her,
Till you can feel her in your blood.
And when you see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman.
Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted cynic with no romantic side whatsoever, but EW EW EW!!!!!! If a man ever told me that he saw his unborn children in my eyes, I'd be out the door faster than you could say "restraining order". EW.
On my way home from work I was listening to Kids Corner on the radio and they played The Cheese Song, so now I have
Cheese, cheese, cheese
Wonderful cheese
Bees don't like cheese
But I love cheese
stuck in my head instead. It's a HUGE improvement.