There are no flowers, no not this time.....

[cbum34]

Been awhile. Sorry about that. I've been all kinds of busy. Started working at Bass Outlet at Aurora Farms a few weeks ago. It feels awesome to get a paycheck. Work is well, work, but I have a decent time and I like everyone I work with. As far as who works there, it's me and manager Chris, and about 12 women aged from 17 to probably 50. All the girls around my age have serious boyfriends, which kinda sucks cause I can't really flirt with them. Ah well, I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now anyways. Getting over Kelly has been a lot harder and taken longer than I ever would have thought. I guess that's how it is when you get your heart broken. Part of me still longs to have her as my girlfriend, but a much bigger part of me just misses seeing her and doing the things we did. I really miss having that friend I would see every other week. I guess I could still go down there to visit her, but shes really busy and I think I would feel awkward right now. I guess if she told me she wanted me to come down, I would, but I don't see her saying that any time soon. I miss my friend, sigh.

Here's some kickass lyrics to the song I've been addicted to this past week. It's the hidden track off AFI's "Sing the Sorrow" called This Time Imperfect. It kinda sums up how I've been feeling.

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay
Forever haunted, more than afraid
Asphyxiate on words I would say
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me

I cannot stay here, I cannot leave
Just like all I loved, I'm make believe
Imagined heart, I disappear
Seems... no one will appear here and make me real

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me

I'd tell you how it haunts me
I'd tell you how it haunts me
Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams
I'd tell you how it haunts me
Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams
You don't care that it haunts me

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me
Just how much this hurts me
Just how much you...

Yea, I doubt any of you really read through all those, but that's ok. I probably wouldn't either, haha.