Cognitive Dissonance
Or would it be chronological dissonance - is that even a concept? Last weekend Irish and I went to a very small (and free) renaissance faire at Grand Valley State University not far from Holland and Grand Rapids, Michigan. It was a two-day faire, so we reserved a hotel room in Holland in case we wanted to go back on Sunday. We didn't - in fact, we were only at the faire for a couple of hours and saw the whole thing, it was that small. (But nice - we'll go back.) That was ok, because we both like Holland. I love it; I went to school there, at Hope College, 1981-1983, and lived there for about six months in 1984 as well.
Anyway, on the drive up, I had a very vivid, detailed memory of the part of town I lived in during the summer of 1982 - my first apartment, in a subdivided house - and summer of 1984; the two places were just a couple of blocks apart and there was 7-11 about equidistant between the two places. I remembered the stone porch on the house being painted light blue (it had been green), the pizza place having a new name, the 7-11 no longer being a 7-11, the little "antique" store on the corner still being there, lots of details like that. It was such a detailed memory that I had to confirm with Irish that we hadn't been to Holland since before we moved to Las Vegas - nine years ago. So vivid, I wondered if I had dreamed it, rather than it being a memory. (That's always an odd feeling - have a dream so vivid that it takes me awhile when I recall it to figure out if it was a dream or a memory.)
We got to Holland, ate at Russ's (no butterscotch pie Saturday - so sad!), drove downtown so I could get seafoam and salted licorice at the Peanut Store, went to the hotel. On Sunday, we went to the state park to see the lighthouse and watch the water, then drove around for awhile before heading home. I drove through the old neighborhood, and sure enough, my detailed memory was accurate. Blue porch, different name on the pizza place, 7-11 is now a little (Mexican?) grocery, "antique" store is still there. The thing is, this memory was so clear and detailed and felt so recent, it was really difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that it had to be at least nine years old. I don't think I can convey how weird it was - it was like the difference between remembering what Monday was like at work last week and what some random Monday was like at work several years ago. Generally, that memory from several years back, no matter how detailed, will feel different, more . . . distant, or something. The whole weird feeling stuck with me for most of the week. It's gone now - of course the memory no longer feels so recent, either.
(Reading back, I think this sounds like I found this disturbing - I actually didn't - more bemusing. And amusing!)
Once again, we talked about moving up to Holland. We really do like it there and had talked about moving there from Las Vegas, but ended up staying here in northern Indiana, because this is where my mom and sisters are. It's really a toss-up - I love being near my mom and sisters, but I just like Holland so much better. I like Michigan better than Indiana any day of the year anyway for all kinds of reasons, not the least that it's my home state and where most of my dad's family is. (Holland, though, is just as long a drive from them as here is, since they're mostly in eastern Michigan.) Decisions, decisions....
(I didn't take that photo; it's from a website about the State Park. That's "Big Red" - the Holland harbor lighthouse.)
Anyway, on the drive up, I had a very vivid, detailed memory of the part of town I lived in during the summer of 1982 - my first apartment, in a subdivided house - and summer of 1984; the two places were just a couple of blocks apart and there was 7-11 about equidistant between the two places. I remembered the stone porch on the house being painted light blue (it had been green), the pizza place having a new name, the 7-11 no longer being a 7-11, the little "antique" store on the corner still being there, lots of details like that. It was such a detailed memory that I had to confirm with Irish that we hadn't been to Holland since before we moved to Las Vegas - nine years ago. So vivid, I wondered if I had dreamed it, rather than it being a memory. (That's always an odd feeling - have a dream so vivid that it takes me awhile when I recall it to figure out if it was a dream or a memory.)
We got to Holland, ate at Russ's (no butterscotch pie Saturday - so sad!), drove downtown so I could get seafoam and salted licorice at the Peanut Store, went to the hotel. On Sunday, we went to the state park to see the lighthouse and watch the water, then drove around for awhile before heading home. I drove through the old neighborhood, and sure enough, my detailed memory was accurate. Blue porch, different name on the pizza place, 7-11 is now a little (Mexican?) grocery, "antique" store is still there. The thing is, this memory was so clear and detailed and felt so recent, it was really difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that it had to be at least nine years old. I don't think I can convey how weird it was - it was like the difference between remembering what Monday was like at work last week and what some random Monday was like at work several years ago. Generally, that memory from several years back, no matter how detailed, will feel different, more . . . distant, or something. The whole weird feeling stuck with me for most of the week. It's gone now - of course the memory no longer feels so recent, either.
(Reading back, I think this sounds like I found this disturbing - I actually didn't - more bemusing. And amusing!)
Once again, we talked about moving up to Holland. We really do like it there and had talked about moving there from Las Vegas, but ended up staying here in northern Indiana, because this is where my mom and sisters are. It's really a toss-up - I love being near my mom and sisters, but I just like Holland so much better. I like Michigan better than Indiana any day of the year anyway for all kinds of reasons, not the least that it's my home state and where most of my dad's family is. (Holland, though, is just as long a drive from them as here is, since they're mostly in eastern Michigan.) Decisions, decisions....
(I didn't take that photo; it's from a website about the State Park. That's "Big Red" - the Holland harbor lighthouse.)