Dreams
I've been using my bi-pap machine for nearly two years now and have never skipped it since I got it. It makes an amazing difference. I'm not a good sleeper - I literally don't remember the last time I slept through the night without waking, so even with the machine, I always seem to feel a little bit tired. But with this machine, six hours of sleep leaves me more rested than 12 without it. Amazing is not too strong a word! I try to get 8, don't always succeed - but with the machine, if I have to go to work on 6 hours' sleep, I'll feel it and I'll be dragging but that's about it. Before I got the machine, I could sleep for 12 hours and still be falling asleep at my desk the next day. Honestly, it'd be more comfortable to sleep without it, but I'm not about to. (Picture trying to sleep with an oxygen mask strapped over your head to your face. They do make nasal masks, but I'm a mouth breather - chronic allergy and sinus problems mean I can't always breathe through my nose. If I see a scene in a movie of someone having their mouth gagged shut, it makes me feel a little panicky since I'm convinced I'd die if someone did that to me.)
One thing I do miss about pre-bi-pap sleeping is dreaming seemingly through the night. It felt like I never left REM sleep - like I went directly into it as soon as I fell asleep and never moved into any other sleep stage. (I mentioned that to the sleep study guy and he wondered if I'd ever been diagnosed with narcolepsy, since apparently going immediately into REM sleep is a symptom. Nope, no narcolepsy, just sleep apnea.) Now I don't dream as much as I used to and I definitely miss it.
I do remember 3 recent dreams though; they were all very vivid and stayed with me, (Cutting for length and 'cause not everyone wants to read about someone else's dreams!)
1. Remember the song from the 1970s, "Billy Don't Be a Hero"? Paper Lace did it in England and Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods did it here (that's the version I know). I dreamed that I was watching a music video of "Billy Don't Be a Hero" that was done very recently. It was set against scenes from Afghanistan and Iraq and it wasn't the peppy, bubble-gummy version from the 70s. It was very loud and electric and angry and really, really good. I wish someone would make this video!
2. A couple of weeks ago I had a nightmare. I don't have them often - can't even remember the last one - but this was creepy. I think maybe Irish had Ghost Hunters on before I went to bed and it influenced my dreasm. It was your basic haunted room nightmare; I was sleeping in a room and could feel ghosts outside the room trying to come in and harm me. I don't know why, and really wouldn't it be more likely demons than ghosts trying to harm humans? Anyway, I could feel their presence physically even though they weren't actually in the room. I was aware that through the window there was light like the full moon but I knew I couldn't look at it because it wasn't the moon, it was something the ghosts had manufactured and if I looked at it, they could get me. Then I was standing next to the door and telling the ghosts (demons?) to leave - standard "Ghost Hunters" phrases: "You have no place here, you are not welcome in this house. In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave. You are not welcome in this house." Then I realized someone was speaking along with me in a kind of hissy, growling, but not threatening, little voice - I looked down, and it was my (dear departed in real life) cat Dizzy, exorcising the ghost right along with me. That's when I woke up and when I did, the dream ghosts didn't creep me out at all anymore - but that little talking cat did. Let me tell you, talking cats are very creepy. It made me glad mine don't! :-)
3. Then this morning I had a Star Trek dream. I love fannish dreams! Always have and nowdays they, like all my dreams, are few and far between. It was weird, made no sense at all within canon - the main character was Spock and he was very much out of character, as was his dad, who appeared. Spock had been kidnapped and Kirk had finally rescued him - they were driving away with two other Enterprise people (McCoy maybe and someone I didn't recognize) in a huge black SUV. People were still after Spock, so he had to lay down on the seat so no one would see him. And Kirk was kind of hunkered down next to him and kept apologizing over and over for not believing him and for not being there when - whatever it was - happened and saying how glad he was to have Spock back. (This was tv-era Kirk and Spock, by the way.) Then KIrk started saying how much he loved Spock and again how sorry he was and that he wouldn't let this happen again - then started kissing him. (It was a slashy dream but you can pretend it wasn't because in this dream I was Spock. This was all happening to me, I'm the one who felt everything - but I was Spock. So if the K/S stuff is a bit too much for you, remember Spock was technically a girl! *g*) Ok, now I know how Captain Kirk kisses - and now I know why all those women fell for him! Anyway, they got to their destination and Sarek was waiting (but he didn't look like Sarek). Spock was reluctant to leave the vehicle, not surprising, considering what his tv-era relationship with Sarek was like - but when he did, Sarek hugged him tightly, a desperate bear-hug and said he'd been afraid he might never see his son alive again. Spock hugged him back and they stood there for a long time, just holding on to each other. Then I woke up. Spock and Sarek just weren't in character when you place things in canon-context - but in dream-context everything made perfect sense and there was nothing odd about them embracing each other at all.
So now it's almost bed-time and of course I'm wondering if I'll have any memorable dreams. You know I want more Captain Kirk kissing dreams!
One thing I do miss about pre-bi-pap sleeping is dreaming seemingly through the night. It felt like I never left REM sleep - like I went directly into it as soon as I fell asleep and never moved into any other sleep stage. (I mentioned that to the sleep study guy and he wondered if I'd ever been diagnosed with narcolepsy, since apparently going immediately into REM sleep is a symptom. Nope, no narcolepsy, just sleep apnea.) Now I don't dream as much as I used to and I definitely miss it.
I do remember 3 recent dreams though; they were all very vivid and stayed with me, (Cutting for length and 'cause not everyone wants to read about someone else's dreams!)
1. Remember the song from the 1970s, "Billy Don't Be a Hero"? Paper Lace did it in England and Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods did it here (that's the version I know). I dreamed that I was watching a music video of "Billy Don't Be a Hero" that was done very recently. It was set against scenes from Afghanistan and Iraq and it wasn't the peppy, bubble-gummy version from the 70s. It was very loud and electric and angry and really, really good. I wish someone would make this video!
2. A couple of weeks ago I had a nightmare. I don't have them often - can't even remember the last one - but this was creepy. I think maybe Irish had Ghost Hunters on before I went to bed and it influenced my dreasm. It was your basic haunted room nightmare; I was sleeping in a room and could feel ghosts outside the room trying to come in and harm me. I don't know why, and really wouldn't it be more likely demons than ghosts trying to harm humans? Anyway, I could feel their presence physically even though they weren't actually in the room. I was aware that through the window there was light like the full moon but I knew I couldn't look at it because it wasn't the moon, it was something the ghosts had manufactured and if I looked at it, they could get me. Then I was standing next to the door and telling the ghosts (demons?) to leave - standard "Ghost Hunters" phrases: "You have no place here, you are not welcome in this house. In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave. You are not welcome in this house." Then I realized someone was speaking along with me in a kind of hissy, growling, but not threatening, little voice - I looked down, and it was my (dear departed in real life) cat Dizzy, exorcising the ghost right along with me. That's when I woke up and when I did, the dream ghosts didn't creep me out at all anymore - but that little talking cat did. Let me tell you, talking cats are very creepy. It made me glad mine don't! :-)
3. Then this morning I had a Star Trek dream. I love fannish dreams! Always have and nowdays they, like all my dreams, are few and far between. It was weird, made no sense at all within canon - the main character was Spock and he was very much out of character, as was his dad, who appeared. Spock had been kidnapped and Kirk had finally rescued him - they were driving away with two other Enterprise people (McCoy maybe and someone I didn't recognize) in a huge black SUV. People were still after Spock, so he had to lay down on the seat so no one would see him. And Kirk was kind of hunkered down next to him and kept apologizing over and over for not believing him and for not being there when - whatever it was - happened and saying how glad he was to have Spock back. (This was tv-era Kirk and Spock, by the way.) Then KIrk started saying how much he loved Spock and again how sorry he was and that he wouldn't let this happen again - then started kissing him. (It was a slashy dream but you can pretend it wasn't because in this dream I was Spock. This was all happening to me, I'm the one who felt everything - but I was Spock. So if the K/S stuff is a bit too much for you, remember Spock was technically a girl! *g*) Ok, now I know how Captain Kirk kisses - and now I know why all those women fell for him! Anyway, they got to their destination and Sarek was waiting (but he didn't look like Sarek). Spock was reluctant to leave the vehicle, not surprising, considering what his tv-era relationship with Sarek was like - but when he did, Sarek hugged him tightly, a desperate bear-hug and said he'd been afraid he might never see his son alive again. Spock hugged him back and they stood there for a long time, just holding on to each other. Then I woke up. Spock and Sarek just weren't in character when you place things in canon-context - but in dream-context everything made perfect sense and there was nothing odd about them embracing each other at all.
So now it's almost bed-time and of course I'm wondering if I'll have any memorable dreams. You know I want more Captain Kirk kissing dreams!