(no subject)
Dear Diary,
Sometime just a little over a year ago I swore off the idea of feeling anything. I felt so sad I decided my only options were either to die or stop feeling. I went to the doctor, my family doctor, and told him I was feeling depressed. He gave me a prescription to a pill called Lexapro, an antidepressant of the SSRI variety.
Life changed.
Last summer I had a psychotic break from reality when I decided to quit taking the drug, had a negative sexual experience, and went four days without sleep before deciding to stage my own death by driving to Chicago with no identification and abandoning my car, unlocked with the keys in it.
I slept at a friend's house and awoke in the morning feeling foolish.
What I am saying is that i do not feel like I used to. I hate my job, but go to it. I love my other job, but am in situations daily which would previously make me nervous, but I'm calm as a still day on the lake. I conscientiously am deceitful and hurtful toward other people without remorse, especially those who have wronged me in the past.
I think I am better, smarter, and above all, more important than everyone else.
I'm really truly high. Higher than any street drug has ever made me.
So, thank heavens for Big Pharma.
Signed,
Hooked for life.