Here and Now
I've been thinking a lot latley. About everything. My worries. Shit that I've been trhough in the past. And shit I want to acomplish with my life. This isnt a fucking game anymore I"m 20 years old. Its about time I grew the fuck up. I mean I'm gonna be myself...natrually who else could I be? but I want to fucking end it. All the stupid shit ya know? the lessons I learn the hard way. Im about done. I'm at my wits end when it comes to the fucking living sitchuation i have goin on. I dont have a job and i HATE it. I have no food in my house...*sniffles* I"m hella poor, and it sucks. I"m just tired of shit bein how it is ya know?
I'm sad when i think about guys. Why is it guys are the only real damaging thing to my head? I keep thinking about Matt and i hate it so bad. Cuz what is he? a guy i met in Detroit, that I fucked. Dude I fucking went to another part of the country for him? WHAT WAS I THINKING? ugh, Also. Jadyn. That man is a huge factor in my life these days. its crazy. Like if i dont talk to him. I kinda get all....well I get Jadyn with draws....crazy crazy shit. Like, he gives the best advice when I need it. When I was sittin there balling my ass off about Michelle He called and would nto let me get off hte phone until he made me feel better. He is a great great guy. Just hearing his voice makes me happy as hell. I think i'm just fucking insane tho. I dont need to like another guy who lives half way past nowhere. I dont need to fall for anyone I cant touch. And thats exactly what i'm doing.
NOw its my time to gush! About him. He's such a great fucking guy! He is and i was upset cuz I have all these feelings for him and like theres so much saying no ya alls ... its not happening....But he was like, look this is emotionally between me and you. how we fel about eachother all those are just draw backs etc etc. God he has a way with words. I bet literally, he could talk the pants off someone. Intellegence is a sexy, beautiful thing. Humor, He takes everything as a joke. As do I. Jadyn and I have a LOT in common. I really like him. AHHHHHHHHH i really like him!!!! *gush* *gush*
Last night when i was cleaning. I found a little circle thing with Jadyn written on it. It used to be on a wreath my mum has with all the grand kids names on it. Jadyn, my neice... I dunno but i'm like...wow what a sign. lol
Ok I'm ouyt...love!
I'm sad when i think about guys. Why is it guys are the only real damaging thing to my head? I keep thinking about Matt and i hate it so bad. Cuz what is he? a guy i met in Detroit, that I fucked. Dude I fucking went to another part of the country for him? WHAT WAS I THINKING? ugh, Also. Jadyn. That man is a huge factor in my life these days. its crazy. Like if i dont talk to him. I kinda get all....well I get Jadyn with draws....crazy crazy shit. Like, he gives the best advice when I need it. When I was sittin there balling my ass off about Michelle He called and would nto let me get off hte phone until he made me feel better. He is a great great guy. Just hearing his voice makes me happy as hell. I think i'm just fucking insane tho. I dont need to like another guy who lives half way past nowhere. I dont need to fall for anyone I cant touch. And thats exactly what i'm doing.
NOw its my time to gush! About him. He's such a great fucking guy! He is and i was upset cuz I have all these feelings for him and like theres so much saying no ya alls ... its not happening....But he was like, look this is emotionally between me and you. how we fel about eachother all those are just draw backs etc etc. God he has a way with words. I bet literally, he could talk the pants off someone. Intellegence is a sexy, beautiful thing. Humor, He takes everything as a joke. As do I. Jadyn and I have a LOT in common. I really like him. AHHHHHHHHH i really like him!!!! *gush* *gush*
Last night when i was cleaning. I found a little circle thing with Jadyn written on it. It used to be on a wreath my mum has with all the grand kids names on it. Jadyn, my neice... I dunno but i'm like...wow what a sign. lol
Ok I'm ouyt...love!