Almost called it quits.
I get to thinking about shit. I hate it. I have my life. I hate the way things go. I hate being alone all the time etc etc. So I had the phone in my hand, I had the number dialed. I was gonna call home and have them send for me and just say goodbye to all of it.
I turned the phone off and walked away. Fuck no I'm not gonna give up, I mean I love my family and yet I hate them at the same time. But When Im around them I dont like the person I am. I dont like the people they are. And I'm NOT going to give up quiet, freedom, a few friends, possibly a future for a trailor and a feeling of comfort. If I want that feeling I'll work for it I guess.
I mean I thinnk I'd be more motivated to get things done if I was down there...I would have a few boundries....but then I dont know at the same time. What If I just went down there and lost all chances of what i could have up here?
guhhhh i hate this. Alls I know is i gotta stick it out till November thats just the way it is. (I tell myself this everytime I always say...stick it out till...whenver and you'll be ok)
so hopefully it works.
I turned the phone off and walked away. Fuck no I'm not gonna give up, I mean I love my family and yet I hate them at the same time. But When Im around them I dont like the person I am. I dont like the people they are. And I'm NOT going to give up quiet, freedom, a few friends, possibly a future for a trailor and a feeling of comfort. If I want that feeling I'll work for it I guess.
I mean I thinnk I'd be more motivated to get things done if I was down there...I would have a few boundries....but then I dont know at the same time. What If I just went down there and lost all chances of what i could have up here?
guhhhh i hate this. Alls I know is i gotta stick it out till November thats just the way it is. (I tell myself this everytime I always say...stick it out till...whenver and you'll be ok)
so hopefully it works.