Part 1
Where to start? Hm.
I could make a comment about how not many people read this lj so really what's the point in posting anything here? But I've got a lot of thoughts in my head that I wouldn't mind expressing. A lot has been going on in my life lately. I've hit new lows in fangirling. I've got new obsessions. I've discovered some awesome. I've been sort of busy with uni. I've had gymnasts win and fail. I've taken up a new sport. I miss my friends. And I am becoming ever more adamant about equal rights whilst waving my rainbow flag.
So uni... working with monkeys. Finished all experiments involved dead stuffed animals and cat poo YAY! Two main experiments to go now - have to get them done before the monkeys retire early next year. As soon as those monkeys go to their new home I'm gonna take a month off and do nothing. NOTHING! Well, I hope it'll be a month - with my supervisor who knows though. I'll miss the little guys :( Some of them are so adorable and generally sweet. I'm trying to write a paper at the moment on individual differences in how the marmosets responded to visual and auditory predatory stimuli. But I have no motivation and no really understanding of the topic - it was something my supervisor threw on me at the last second (again - she has a habit of doing this to me and only me).
So why do I not have any motivation? Because my mind is filled with fangirling and it makes me suspect I've picked the wrong area to do a phd project in. I should have done it on awesome and cute boys that kiss, fondle, have sex, love other boys. Even since slash, wonderful wonderful slash, entered my life I've loved gay men. I don't know why, I don't understand the attraction, but they're hot. Is it because I want to have sex with them like some people have suggested is the attraction for straight women? Or that I want to try to turn them? No. I'd like to watch them have sex with other men but I don't want to have sex with them. There are a few aspects I can acknowledge - for example I like watching men do things to or with other men that is considered necessary when in a relationship with a woman. Such as the use of special names, giving gifts, little touches, etc. Because then I know men aren't just doing these things because they feel obliged, that it's expected of them because they think women need pampering - and let's face it, we do love to be pampered! - but because they want to. Another part of my fascination is that I'm interested in behaviour. Why did particular behaviours evolve? What is the point of these behaviours? How do they fit in with the theory of evolution. Homosexuality is certainly one of the big questions. It's not genetic as such because otherwise species would have died out. It's also not limited to the human species - plenty of other animals do it. So why did it evolve? Because there weren't enough partners to go around? Given that in most species one male for several females is all that is needed than one would understand that given other males still have the same drives seeking out other males would make sense so that they could still scratch that itch. But why did homosexuality evolve in women then?
So I love to watch men make out. Youtube is a wonderful place for that addiction. And yes, it is an addiction, an obsession. I was checking out a video about kisses between men one day and this one particular kiss had me gasping. I simply had to know more! So I did a bit of looking around and that's when I discovered Roman and Deniz. Sigh. Wonderful, beautiful, sexy Roman and Deniz. I found a couple of clips that showed them doing naughty naughty things to each other. And that's when I found out this was a show that aired at 7pm. 7pm!!! And there was no outrage about men kissing each other or, in some cases, doing more. Where was such a wonderful thing allowed to take place? Germany! That blew my mind. A German soap opera that had two men together. And some wonderful people had put all the relevant clips about them together for each episode and put English subtitles on the videos (woo hoo!) just for us ignorant ones who don't know any German - altho I can say I'm picking up a few words now! And the guy who plays Roman (Dennis is his name, not to be confused with Deniz) is openly gay *dreamy sigh*
I've also been checking out this wonderful site called After Elton. It keeps me up to date with all the news about gays in media and entertainment, any gay issues, tv shows or moves featuring gay characters or gay actors etc. Perfect for a girl like me! Well, I looked up the show DeRo are in on AE and kept finding another German soap opera coming up every time there was an article about DeRo. At first I was like nah (why do I bother to resist?!) not interested, but AE kept singing the praises of Christian and Ollie. Because they touch and kiss, even when the script doesn't call for it. So I finally checked them out on youtube, too. And lo and behold someone has translated their relevant clips for me, too!
And now I'm addicted to two German soap operas! Me! Someone who has never watched a soap in her life! It's like a whole new level of low for me. And yet...I'm okay with it. Because there are pretty boys touching each other, kissing each other and generally being yummy.
So why are Europeans less hung up about these sorts of things than Americans? I recently fell in love with a French movie that was made for tv about two men (starring the beautiful and delightful and possibly gay Cyrille Thouvenin). Apparently it was incredibly popular in France when it aired. And another movie, German (I feel like I'm falling in love with the Germans!), about a boy who is attracted to his best friend, but can't tell him and has his first experience with another boy, who is incredibly sweet about it all. But America does have Brothers & Sisters. Another show I'm addicted to, for many reasons. I love this show not just for its gay storyline, but also for its family atmosphere. A family so different from mine and anything I've ever experienced. I'm a long way from home, away from my family and friends whom I miss and for an hour each week this show makes me feel like I belong to something bigger. Something warm and nuturing. A family I would have loved to have been part of.
Part 2 coming soon
I could make a comment about how not many people read this lj so really what's the point in posting anything here? But I've got a lot of thoughts in my head that I wouldn't mind expressing. A lot has been going on in my life lately. I've hit new lows in fangirling. I've got new obsessions. I've discovered some awesome. I've been sort of busy with uni. I've had gymnasts win and fail. I've taken up a new sport. I miss my friends. And I am becoming ever more adamant about equal rights whilst waving my rainbow flag.
So uni... working with monkeys. Finished all experiments involved dead stuffed animals and cat poo YAY! Two main experiments to go now - have to get them done before the monkeys retire early next year. As soon as those monkeys go to their new home I'm gonna take a month off and do nothing. NOTHING! Well, I hope it'll be a month - with my supervisor who knows though. I'll miss the little guys :( Some of them are so adorable and generally sweet. I'm trying to write a paper at the moment on individual differences in how the marmosets responded to visual and auditory predatory stimuli. But I have no motivation and no really understanding of the topic - it was something my supervisor threw on me at the last second (again - she has a habit of doing this to me and only me).
So why do I not have any motivation? Because my mind is filled with fangirling and it makes me suspect I've picked the wrong area to do a phd project in. I should have done it on awesome and cute boys that kiss, fondle, have sex, love other boys. Even since slash, wonderful wonderful slash, entered my life I've loved gay men. I don't know why, I don't understand the attraction, but they're hot. Is it because I want to have sex with them like some people have suggested is the attraction for straight women? Or that I want to try to turn them? No. I'd like to watch them have sex with other men but I don't want to have sex with them. There are a few aspects I can acknowledge - for example I like watching men do things to or with other men that is considered necessary when in a relationship with a woman. Such as the use of special names, giving gifts, little touches, etc. Because then I know men aren't just doing these things because they feel obliged, that it's expected of them because they think women need pampering - and let's face it, we do love to be pampered! - but because they want to. Another part of my fascination is that I'm interested in behaviour. Why did particular behaviours evolve? What is the point of these behaviours? How do they fit in with the theory of evolution. Homosexuality is certainly one of the big questions. It's not genetic as such because otherwise species would have died out. It's also not limited to the human species - plenty of other animals do it. So why did it evolve? Because there weren't enough partners to go around? Given that in most species one male for several females is all that is needed than one would understand that given other males still have the same drives seeking out other males would make sense so that they could still scratch that itch. But why did homosexuality evolve in women then?
So I love to watch men make out. Youtube is a wonderful place for that addiction. And yes, it is an addiction, an obsession. I was checking out a video about kisses between men one day and this one particular kiss had me gasping. I simply had to know more! So I did a bit of looking around and that's when I discovered Roman and Deniz. Sigh. Wonderful, beautiful, sexy Roman and Deniz. I found a couple of clips that showed them doing naughty naughty things to each other. And that's when I found out this was a show that aired at 7pm. 7pm!!! And there was no outrage about men kissing each other or, in some cases, doing more. Where was such a wonderful thing allowed to take place? Germany! That blew my mind. A German soap opera that had two men together. And some wonderful people had put all the relevant clips about them together for each episode and put English subtitles on the videos (woo hoo!) just for us ignorant ones who don't know any German - altho I can say I'm picking up a few words now! And the guy who plays Roman (Dennis is his name, not to be confused with Deniz) is openly gay *dreamy sigh*
I've also been checking out this wonderful site called After Elton. It keeps me up to date with all the news about gays in media and entertainment, any gay issues, tv shows or moves featuring gay characters or gay actors etc. Perfect for a girl like me! Well, I looked up the show DeRo are in on AE and kept finding another German soap opera coming up every time there was an article about DeRo. At first I was like nah (why do I bother to resist?!) not interested, but AE kept singing the praises of Christian and Ollie. Because they touch and kiss, even when the script doesn't call for it. So I finally checked them out on youtube, too. And lo and behold someone has translated their relevant clips for me, too!
And now I'm addicted to two German soap operas! Me! Someone who has never watched a soap in her life! It's like a whole new level of low for me. And yet...I'm okay with it. Because there are pretty boys touching each other, kissing each other and generally being yummy.
So why are Europeans less hung up about these sorts of things than Americans? I recently fell in love with a French movie that was made for tv about two men (starring the beautiful and delightful and possibly gay Cyrille Thouvenin). Apparently it was incredibly popular in France when it aired. And another movie, German (I feel like I'm falling in love with the Germans!), about a boy who is attracted to his best friend, but can't tell him and has his first experience with another boy, who is incredibly sweet about it all. But America does have Brothers & Sisters. Another show I'm addicted to, for many reasons. I love this show not just for its gay storyline, but also for its family atmosphere. A family so different from mine and anything I've ever experienced. I'm a long way from home, away from my family and friends whom I miss and for an hour each week this show makes me feel like I belong to something bigger. Something warm and nuturing. A family I would have loved to have been part of.
Part 2 coming soon