This Really Happened, Yo
smeddley prompted me to blog about a sporting event.
So, I went to see some gladiators fight to the death the other day.
I wasn't sure at first, but alas_a_llama said they were good, and tickets to the coliseum in town were half-price for this midweek special thing they had going on, so I went to have a look. And it was, indeed, pretty cool. (Despite the weather. Good God. I think I actually melted onto the seat. What season is it meant to be again? >_>)
I missed the gladiators themselves signing autographs out front, but apparently they were charging for them anyway. I forget who told me this, but it seems that people with more money than sense will fork out their college funds for a gladiator's autograph in case it's the last one they ever give. Which, you know, wtf. If he lives, then it's not worth as much, and if he doesn't then he obviously wasn't very good, and why would you want a crappy gladiator's autograph? It'd be like a music fan selling their firstborn to buy the signature of someone from G2. O_o
So far, so confusing.
And then we all went in and sat down. On the stone seats. Protip: when going to a coliseum, TAKE A CUSHION. D: D: D:
Apparently not all the fighters were slaves that day, actually. In the brochure it said that this Retiarius dude with a weighted net and some name like Flavius Dexamilius Maracoonius or similar was a freeman looking for fame. To which I say: sure, and stabbing people in a pit is such a good way to achieve a widespread name. Well, unless you're the only one doing it and the people you're stabbing aren't actually other paid gladiators, in which point I'll concede that infamy is probably in your future somewhere.
He lost anyway. Thracian sword to the head. D:
My main impression: who'd be a Secutor? All the Thracians and Retiariuses are there going "MUAHAHA WE KICK YO ASS WITH OUR ARMOUR AND TWINKY GIANT HARPOONS", and then the little guys are like "please don't kill us, we just have our toothpicks and baldness and incidentally have you heard of Rule One?". And then somehow they win anyway. \o/ I think they're all secretly ninjas, or possibly Cohen the Barbarian cloned.
Conclusion: good but violent. So good, then. :D
So, I went to see some gladiators fight to the death the other day.
I wasn't sure at first, but alas_a_llama said they were good, and tickets to the coliseum in town were half-price for this midweek special thing they had going on, so I went to have a look. And it was, indeed, pretty cool. (Despite the weather. Good God. I think I actually melted onto the seat. What season is it meant to be again? >_>)
I missed the gladiators themselves signing autographs out front, but apparently they were charging for them anyway. I forget who told me this, but it seems that people with more money than sense will fork out their college funds for a gladiator's autograph in case it's the last one they ever give. Which, you know, wtf. If he lives, then it's not worth as much, and if he doesn't then he obviously wasn't very good, and why would you want a crappy gladiator's autograph? It'd be like a music fan selling their firstborn to buy the signature of someone from G2. O_o
So far, so confusing.
And then we all went in and sat down. On the stone seats. Protip: when going to a coliseum, TAKE A CUSHION. D: D: D:
Apparently not all the fighters were slaves that day, actually. In the brochure it said that this Retiarius dude with a weighted net and some name like Flavius Dexamilius Maracoonius or similar was a freeman looking for fame. To which I say: sure, and stabbing people in a pit is such a good way to achieve a widespread name. Well, unless you're the only one doing it and the people you're stabbing aren't actually other paid gladiators, in which point I'll concede that infamy is probably in your future somewhere.
He lost anyway. Thracian sword to the head. D:
My main impression: who'd be a Secutor? All the Thracians and Retiariuses are there going "MUAHAHA WE KICK YO ASS WITH OUR ARMOUR AND TWINKY GIANT HARPOONS", and then the little guys are like "please don't kill us, we just have our toothpicks and baldness and incidentally have you heard of Rule One?". And then somehow they win anyway. \o/ I think they're all secretly ninjas, or possibly Cohen the Barbarian cloned.
Conclusion: good but violent. So good, then. :D