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[cazaderomoon]

I can't believe it has been raining so much this morning. C. let me sleep in a few extra hours and during that time it apparently stormed and the electricity went out. I had ear plugs in so I heard nothing

Comments

[divine_cow]

Hey! Long time, no comment!! I'm glad you're getting some sleep. Sleep is goooooooood!

My siblings aren't wealthy so I don't understand exactly what you feel. I do have a brother that doesn't have any children. He and his wife both work at "good" jobs (he works at a nuclear power plant with his Navy nuclear background and she has a masters degree in advertising). He's still the baby and my parents still spoil him. When we were all on vacation together last week, I noticed that he rarely paid for anything. Maybe it's stubborn pride, but I never ask my parents to pay for anything. In fact, at the end of the week, I gave my mom money to compensate for the groceries that she bought beforehand and brought (since we had no room in our car).

I think I get jealous. My brother goes on trips and buys things and just DOES things. We have four children. I guess even if we had huge amounts of money, we'd still be tied down.

My wicked side keeps thinking "who will take care of them when they're old". And my insecure side wants my children to be immensely successful to show that I'm doing SOMETHING valuable here. (Unfortunately, they're not performing monkeys and they can be poster children for "responsible birth control" at times).

Does it ever make you wonder what success really is? I still think it's cool that you're giving up so much of you to your baby. She was kicking your ass those first few months and you survived it without running off to work. (Sorry if that was too blunt...that's what I realized here because Trey was an SATAN-CHILD for his first four months and I understood that I missed that with the first three because I went back to work immediately...now he's cool.) Now she's rewarding you with the purest love and joy...it's weird, isn't it. Like a new lesson in love.

Okay, too much rambling for a Sunday morning!! But I'm glad things are happy down your way!!

Kristi

[cazaderomoon]

Thanks for your comments (and for doing the life meme - I'm not sure why but I really like those things). I am always trying to remind myself that there are different definitions of success. I know that, in many ways, I am "successful." I have a happy family, a good marriage, a beautiful child, great friends, blah, blah, blah. It's hard because it takes some serious reprogramming on my part. My parents so defined success as a class/money issue; I try very hard to expand upon that definiton. That being said, my eldest brother has had to make a lot of personal sacrifices to get where he is today. I guess I could have gone that route as well but I've always been more into socialising and having a good time.

Yeah, E totally kicked my ass the first few months. There were times when I wondered what the hell I had gotten myself into. I guess the difficulty in the beginning is finally paying off. I'm just beginning to learn that love has many different faces and comes in many different ways.